Raspberry Sugar Quills
by JosieEvans44
Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured soul in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up,afraid of living... Ch. 15 FINALLY HERE
1. A liar

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while?

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**The tragedy of life isn't that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. -Anonymous**

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A liar, a liar is what they call me, but I always say I prefer the term actor. Secrets, so many secrets and no one to turn to. I get around with my acting, school, friends (the little I have) I often think, "Would they cry? Would they cry if I died? Would they be at my funeral giving their sympathies and would I be forgotten? What about when I finish school will they remember Lily Evans?"

Love, love is a major factor in my life, one which I thought I never would have. Sure my parents and sisters no matter how much they deney it, love me. But what about a match, a sole mate someone to complete me, like my mother and father. I don't trust anyone, and I don't like getting to close to people, they always leave. That's one of my biggest fears, to be alone. People always leave you behind, like a friend of mine when I was 13 years old. Veronica. She had accepted me into my new school. She had just recovered from cancer. We weren't close but I'm sure if she were still alive we would have become good friends. Best friends, she had many of those, such a nice person, but alas she wasn't to stay here on earth with us for long. Her cancer came back, we all thought she would bounce back again, she was a strong person, with no remorse and a love for life and it's surroundings.

I will never forget the time, the time I could have told her every thing, how good a friend she was, how I wished we could have gotten to know each other better, to laugh on old times, but I was foolish, thinking she would always be there. Me and three of my friends went to visit her before a dance, we had just learned she wasn't doing good. We were supposed to have a party in her name that day, with a big basket full of goodies, but she never came, instead her aunt came with the bad news. When we went to visit her that night, I didn't know what to say, so I sat there and read her magazines. I regret it now, and will never forgive myself for that. I know she's watching down on us know. But I still hate death, I fear it and it's cruelness, at any moment it could come and snatch someone you love from you without mercy. Change and death, my two worst fears.

Change is never good, my past proves it. My second sister Anne, was born, because of that we needed a bigger house. So of course I had to change school, which have proven to be the 7 worst years of hell a kid could go through. I'm often loud, I blame ignorance for that, when I had something to say people never listened, I talked louder to get there attention, now most people tell me to shut up or talk softer. I blame all of my problems on my moving. If that had never happened I would be a very different person I am today, but I would also be empty without Anne.

Pain, death, fear, change it'll never change.

When I die I hope people will be able to say: "Lily Evans? So unfortunate, such a nice person, bless her sole." Lily Gabrielle Evans, messenger of God, at least that's what Gabrielle means. If God loves us, why put us through so much pain and suffering, obstacles are just in the way, but without them we may not be able to grow. Like a flower, we are like flowers, children of God. I hope Veronica likes heaven, where one day I will reach her and tell her how much she meant to me. In heaven my grandfather awaits, I have yet to meet him but I know it'll be a grand reunion.

True love awaits me, my knight in shining armour will come and rescue me from this rotten apple called earth, where we will love each other eternally and neither death nor change nor pain nor fear will be able to concur it. My love, the one person who will know all of my secrets and my past, who will comfort me when I'm sad and think myself unworthy, but what I didn't know was all the while that I was looking for prince charming, my eyes closed to every other, the person for me was always there, always there to listen, always there to give advice and a shoulder to cry on. What I didn't know was that I had found my prince charming a long time ago.

If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while?

To grow and learn from your mistakes is one of life's precious gifts, one that I am soon to learn.

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**T****he End of Chapter One**


	2. A boy

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

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Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while?

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After a certain point, the only difference between flying and falling is your perspective.** **Unknown**

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A boy, not quite a man, living behind a mask of laughter, pranks, jokes and weakly flings. A fear of all that he loves, will be taken away.

ch. 2: a boy

I'm James Potter, captain of Hogwarts best quidditch team and one of England's best bloody chasers. I've got scouts practically buying me quidditch fields, not to mention the best top of the line broomsticks.

I'm a handsome young lad, with black stubborn and messy hair, I once used up a record of 20 bottles of Jell and 10 cans of hair spray, but alas my unusually stubborn ass hair, would not be tamed. After all that gunk, my hair still looked the same, if not greasier. I've got chocolate soft, warm eyes that drive the girls crazy, or so they tell me.

I'm part of an elite trouble making group, consisting of my three best friends: Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and of course Sirius Black, whom I have known since the age of 2, and who no matter how hard we try, just can't seem to get out of trouble. 'The Marauders' is what everyone calls us, and so it came to be. We have Menerva to thank for that. Why is it that the sexiest, hottest babes, all seem to have something up their asses? (Sirius is still trying to get a date with Minerva.) Lily Evans, no matter how much she denies it, is a mini Minerva. I remember like it was yesterday, Minerva screaming at the top of her lungs, for a reason or an other, calling annoying hoodlums and lecturing us on how we where not to deface school property, "you crazy marauders! Detention for all of you, tonight at ten," next thing we knew, all the teachers were calling us marauders, and so the name came to be.

Somehow, it's beyond my comprehension, that I'm a prefect. I sometimes think Dumbledore eats to many of those muggle sweets, they seem to be getting to his head. Now don't get me wrong, I work half-hardly in class and have a pretty good average, I'm also the best in Transfiguration, alongside Sirius. The only subject I never seem to grasp is charms, the hell with charms any ways, which also just so happens to be 'Lily miss-goody-two-shoes Evans' forte.

My parents Olivia and Harold Potter, are a very respectable pure blood family, so of course I don't know that much about muggles, but I have nothing against them like the Black and Malfoys, don't forget the Snapes and Lestranges. Now Sirius is also an exception to this, his mother is the biggest down right bitch, I have ever meet, she was so furious when Sirius became a Gryffindor, which didn't really help that she wasn't found of him in the first place.

My latest girlfriend, Elisa, is one of the best kissers ever! But I think I'll dump her Friday, she's getting on my nerves, giggling should be made illegal. Especially when a guy comments on her breast, lingerie, hair or anything else. It's so bloody infuriating!

I hate Mondays, we shouldn't have school on Mondays, but then again I would say the same about Tuesdays. I still hate Mondays. I HATE MONDAYS! Well with that of my chest, I'm also a very stubborn person and my friends often tell me that I should get anger management. Saying I have issues and all that, so what if I blow up easily? I'm not all that patient, and it's not like I go around school terrorising the first year with a chainsaw or anything. Most people try to stay on my good side though, it's like there living in fear that I'll prank them. But I still have my share of enemies and people who aren't afraid to show they hate me. Snape and Malfoy of course being some of them. Lily Evans being an other. Always calling me a womaniser, how dare she?! Just because I change girls friends every two weeks and have snogged most of Hogwarts female population, does not, I repeat does NOT! Make me a womaniser!

SNAPE SLEEPS WITH A PINK, FLUFFY, PLUSHY BUNNY NAMED BLINKY! Sorry for the mental images, imagine how I felt when I saw it, and the school when they saw pictures pasted to the corridors!

I don't open up to many people, I rather keep my feelings to myself, Sirius though reads me like a book and never leaves me alone, he's like a bother that 'ol bloke! Most people say we look alike. He even lives with me, during the summer that is. His parents disowned him during third year, which he was only too proud to show. Going around through Hogwarts practically yelling it to everyone. My parents of course said he could live with us, not that it was a really big difference, he already practically lived there. My mom loves him like he were her own son, sometimes I fear she likes him more, "you two are the most insufferable kids a mom could have! I love both of you equally!" she would say and often give us a hug and a homemade cookie, following said popular speech.

There isn't that much more to me. I ain't exactly 'the stuck-up bastard' as Evans so quaintly puts it, that I go around school pretending to be. Only my best friends know the real me, or at least what makes me, me. I wish that I could really love someone, but I can't bring myself to show my true colours, I'm afraid they'll run away when I do, it's not as bad as Remus though, poor guy.

So I guess that's all, nothing much more to it.

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**The End of Chapter two**

A/N: Fist off, let me thank my reviewers TearFromABlueRose and PadfootPrankster13, keep up the good work you two (great stories) and THANK YOU. Secondly I would like to apologies for my lateness. I usually update every 2 days if possible, but my Internet's been down for the last week and a half. But on the good side I have ch's 3-6 written, I just have to type them. I have already started on the other chapters, but I would like to know if I should do the same with the other three characters: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Arabella Figg. Who will be very important secondary characters for this story, so tell me in your review. It's like an introduction to the characters, tells you about them and there life, it's like a background information and helps create the plot, it's also easier for the readers, I find. Anyway, it's only a new idea I had and wanted to experiment with it. So tell me what you prefer in your review: introductions to the other 3 character or the beginning of the story it self, secondly tell me what you thought of this chapter and story so far.

Thanks.

About this chapter: this chapter is written a little differently so as to show the difference of the two characters. James acts like a spoiled brat who can have anything he wants at the snap of his fingers. He's searching for miss's right while trying to snog every girl in the school. He's also superficial and is in denial about a certain red head, he keeps talking about without realising.

Next: Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg and finally the beginning of the story it's self.

Well Cheerios

Josie

P.S: Have you noticed both Lily and James, wish they could have true love? Just a pointer.


	3. An abandoned child

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

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Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while? ((NOT EXACTLY OOTP!))

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**Always try to be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version somebody else. -****Judy Garland**

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ch.3: an abandoned child 

On the outside, an infamous prankster, who thrives for attention. But even the school's attention doesn't seem to quench his thirst.

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----Sirius Orion Black, his parents abandoned him on the side of the road, at the age of two. But what they weren't counting on, was his return....

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Well as you may have heard about now, my parents hated me from day one. My mother, the old hag she is, thought I was a squib. I hadn't shown any signs of magic till abandoned me on a deserted road, when I was two. Lying there on the hard gravel road, crying, I had suddenly felt myself in the comfort of my bed, in my humongous house, I wouldn't even call it a house. After my sudden apparition, my first signs of magic, my parents gave me all the attention. My brother Regulus of course, the spoiled brat he is, was jealous. He of course, having been the favorite, and the oldest, was the heir to the Black's fortune. He was as scared as a little puppy and plotted my downfall, or so he says. 

The Blacks are a very respected, pure blooded, family, wether respected because of fear or admiration, I'll never know, but I mostly think the talk about all the dark arts, there involved in, has something to do with it. The Blacks only care about themselves and conspire to destroy everyone and everything that stands in their way, especially wizards who marry muggles and muggle born's. I hate my whole family, with the exception of Uncle Alphard and Cousin Andromeda, she's Bellatrix and Narcissa's sister. She was blasted of: 'The noble and most ancient house of Black....' painting, for marrying a muggle. Stupid, fucking family tree, hope they also blast me off. I wish I'll never have to return to number twelve, Grimmauld Place in London, my old home.

I'm a proud Gryffindor, a god to ladies and an awesome quidditch player. I just turned sixteen and can now legally buy alcohol. I have black hair and purplish bleu eyes, a charming smile and a well built body. Most people say I resemble James, we could be brothers, most people mistaken us to be. I have a very wild and crazy personality. I have a love for: pranks, quidditch, transfiguration, making lists, girls, candy, girls, breast, girls and of course more girls.

Once I graduate I plan on buying myself a flying motorbike and my own pad, of course I would still go to the Potters house on Saturdays for brunch, Yum, bacon! The coolest thing about me would have to be...my manner of always surprising people. Just when they think they've seen everything I can do or think up (mostly in the pranks area) I do something totally outrageous, which makes even a man like Dumbledore, think he hasn't seen everything. Albus is great, almost like a my dad when I ain't at the Potters. I'm in his office so often you'd think I lived there. Now onto the sexiest teacher ever, 22 year old Minerva, or as I like to call her, Minnie. What can I say, I tend to like the older more experienced women. She's strict but that doesn't stop me from asking her out every week, besides, I know she's hiding a very wild side, from everyone else. I also know, that if she weren't a teacher, she would have accepted my offers a lot sooner.

Now I have a secret, one of the biggest secrets, nah! Only fooling you, it's actually only the biggest secret to people with no eyes or ears, so it's a secret to no one. It involves my dear pal James, poor guy, always in denial, of course I always know what he's thinking so... He's been in love with Lily Evans, since first grade, when he bumped into her. We of course, well mostly James, still believed in cooties back then, but that didn't stop him from saying she was really pretty, "like an angel of God, huh Siri?" poor moron, to stubborn to realize he still likes her, even after their brake up. Yup, you heard me, he got his chance, back when Lily still liked him in 2nd year, of course the moron couldn't commit at the time. They now think or pretend to dislike each other, especially since Lily broke up with him, only girl ever to do so. We've been playing pranks on her since then.

Now onto more important matters, I have a mutual dislike for porkchops. I HATE THEM! Just sitting there, looking at you, all dry and hard. Their evil I tell you, EVIL! Back in first year I had a pet turtle which I conveniently flushed down the toilet, I know have a strong belief that it's gonna come back one day and have it's revenge upon me. He was a snapping turtle, named 'teddy', he was poisonous and quite cool, but wasn't really me and woke me up at night. So about five years ago we (me, James and Remus) like I said previously, flushed him down the toilet. Now as we latter found out, most of Hogwarts pips are connected to each other and end in the great lake. It's probably out there right now, in the Great lake, thinking up plans and recruiting, building up a large army, containing the giant squid, which has been in the lake for as long as anyone can remember. He's probably got those ugly headed things on his side and don't forget those fire breathing monsters and those horned giants with pointy teeth and the mermaids and those muggle dogs. The worst animal out there are those damned muggle dogs, what with their poisonous paws and they also suck on your blood if you come within a five foot radius of one, and they can fly and attack you viciously, unless you own it or tell it not to attack on a certain person and worst of all, they NEVER FORGET! NEVER!

I don't care what people think of me and I sometimes walk around the school like I own it, it's so fun. I'm an early riser, always been, I usually wake up the gang, especially if we need to do a prank, but I never wake up Remus, I've made a mental note of it. I usually never learn from my mistakes but that's one lesson I'll never forget. I LOVE holidays, especially Halloween. I don't really like Peter, he blinks to much and is really annoying, but you'd have to ask James why we let him hang out with us in the first place, I think he's the only one who really knows, it's hard to imagine but James can be a real softy, I on the other hand, couldn't care less. I have a good memory but often forget names, but not a face, I never forget a face.

Malfoy's gonna have one ugly, really bleached blond, evil kid. I pity him, his kid that is, if he ever gets one, which seems not to fare away, what with fucking Narcissa every time he gets. It's disgusting really there almost cousins, EW! Mental images! Sorry about that. Muggles rock! Especially that Robert Plant guy, he sure can sing!

On a final note, I have a couple, well actually a lot, of weird pet peeves, I'm beater on Gryffindor's quidditch team, I hate all pure blooded stuck up, especially if they have that 'I-hate-all-muggles-and-muggle-born's shit attitude. I also think myself a god and went out with more than 3/4 of Hogwarts female population, not including Narcissa (ew, cousin!) and the ever so hot, Lily Evans.

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**The End of Chapter three **

A/N: Fist off, let me thank my reviewer TearFromABlueRose

About this chapter: this chapter is again written a little differently so as to show the difference of the two characters. Sirius acts really weirdly, especial with his beliefs, he's not ready to settle down and probably never will, he tends to either get bored or frightened of where the relationship is going (commitment). Sirius's fear of porkchops comes from me and when ever your around him, you can just tell he doesn't care what other people think of him, and can be very spontaneous and lives life as it comes. I also forgot to mention he doesn't have his trade mark hair yet, it acutely looks like Eric Bana's hair in the movie Troy.

Next: Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg and a chapter containing two characters who will often be mentioned (the rich bitch and the hang around adoptive friend) and then finally the beginning of the story it's self.

Gotta jet

Josie

P.S: REVIEW! Flames will be used to cook Sirius's family.


	4. A werewolf twin

I couldn't post anything till the 2nd of august, due to some infraction in a story I posted (A series of short random stories), what the infraction was I don't know, I know I had a couple of errors but not that many. I left in my bio, where you guys could find the chapter, but it looks like you guys never read what I write there, with kinda makes me angry because I always upgrade it every chance I have and I ofter write in my live journal thingy, about how the stories are coming, now I'll just shut up, because apparently you guys don't read these either.

Ignore my bad mood and have a good read  
Josie

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**Raspberry Sugar Quills  
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By Josie G. Evans

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Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in  
need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the  
girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a  
while? ((NOT EXACTLY OOTP!!))

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What's the point of having a brain if you haven't got a heart for it to argue with? Unknown

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ch.4: a werewolf twin  
  
Remus Lupin's the name, pretending I'm not a werewolf's the game. Sirius made that up back in third year when he found out of my illness, and curse. He's always the joker and knowledgeable  
in the weirdest things. Like if you asked him for the names of all the goblin mayors in chronicle order by name, he'd know them all and can sing and do a jig all the will doing it. Strangely enough he knows all the constellations and of course his ever so popular canus major. I'm the ignored voice of reason in the group, but if it weren't for me, Sirius and James would be in detention every day, not that they really care, they actually have a bet going on since 1st year about who can get the most detentions at the end of seventh year. They even have a sheet of parchment that automatically upgrades it's self every time they get awarded a detention. Now don't get me wrong, I join in most pranks and can be very mischievous, why else am I a marauder, but I have my limits and I don't join in the very risky pranks, besides the teachers see me as and angel, which helped me and the guys get outta trouble many a times, it's really just a facade and a good backup plan.   
  
If you've ever had the chance to pick up a book containing Greek mythology, read it, I swear there really good and tend to give you lot's of imagination. My mother used to read them to me  
and my brother when we were younger, my mother loved them which is probably where her naming us came from. My mother gave birth to us 15 years ago, me and my twin brother Pollux. Unfortunately he died when I was in my forth year, about two year ago. He had a strange  
incurable disease. I don't like saying that he passed away, which is the polite way of saying someone died, most people say it anyway, but I fell that when someone says it, that the person is still there, only they moved on, like moved on to an other country or something, it feels as if the're still there, but I look at it with a scientist eye, the person is dead and gone, his flame has extinguished, you'll never see that person again and if you go to their grave all your doing is talking to a dead rotting carcase of what used to be and a waste of a perfectly good tree that used to give back to us by giving us oxygen.   
  
I was very close to Pol, inseparable, where one was you'd always find the other, kinda like James and Sirius. What made Pol so fun was that we were as different as can be, we both liked different things and had different personalities but we still looked pretty alike and had a few things in common, including the way we saw things and the way we talked, our vocabulary to be more precise. We also had a few traits and the same taste in foods, but Pol was allergic to strawberries. We both hated ketchup but loved tomatoes and anything to do with them, we were also both vegetarians, especially since my illness, we never looked at animals the same way again. We're both realist unlike Lily who spends her days daydreaming instead of acutely doing it no matter how insane.  
  
I think it's time for a change in subjects, talking about Pol brings back memories and I rather forget about them because it makes me think about: what if? What if he were still alive? It makes me sad to think they'll never be an other person who'll understand me like he did, to comfort me when I feel depressed and to help me recover after a full moon, someone who know's what I like and what I hate and when I like a certain thing and when I don't, to know that no matter what that he'd always have been there for me in the future when I couldn't get a job or when I was having a hard time, to take me into his house till I can buy my own, to help me find a job and to protect me and heal my wounds during and after the full moon, inside and outside. Like I said I think it's time for a change of subject.   
  
Dumbledore is the greatest man alive, he took me in when none other would, I didn't think I would ever be able to got to school, but Dumbledore not only aloud me to go, he also made special arrangements for me. The first of which is the Womping Willow, a tree he planted to protect me as well as the students. It got it's name for it's nature, get to close to it and you might loose more than an eye. I owe that man so much... practically even my life, one day I'll repay his kindness and generosity, how I don't know, but I'll find a way.  
  
James and Sirius... what can I say, I couldn't ask for better friends. They've acutely been studying animagus transformations since third year when they found about my illness. If any one can become an animagis, they can, Sirius with his fierce determination and James with his stubbornness, not to mention that their two of the best students Hogwarts has ever seen not to mention Lily's right behind them. Their also the best in Transfiguration. We're all in our 5th year at Hogwarts. Schools almost over, summer vacations just up ahead. As much as it can be a drag,I don't want to see it end. I don't want to see myself leave it. Two more school years and I'll be thrown out into the real world, were I have to pay bills and get myself a job and a life. This place has been my home for the last couple of years and I'm not like Lily, I DON'T want to travel the world and stay in a bunch of different houses every couple of months because I get bored and annoyed if I stay in the same place for to long. I'll never understand that girl, she hates change and yet every once in a while sleeps in the common room due to her constant having to 'move'. I've had so many adventures and good times, not to mention the friends I've made along the way, what if we loose touch when we all get thrown out, and they get families and forget about me.   
  
The thing I'm afraid most, is not to be able to find employment. I was so stupid, why didn't I help my mother instead of ditching the stupid family reunion to play hide and seek with neighborhood friends and cousins. That stupid forest at the back of my house, my mom forbid us to go, saying it was full of dangerous creatures and ravines and god know's what. My mom is afraid of almost everything, especially me. I had been so STUPID, but then again I had been only 7, and had taken my mothers fear as something like her fear of cheese.   
  
I unlike James and Sirius, don't date. Now don't get me wrong, I'm one of the school most available bachelor, and quite handsome. I also have my own little fan club, which tends to be a drag, you can't even go to the library without girls following you around, it annoys me to hell and back, because I know that if they knew what I really was, none of them would come near me. I don't date any of them incase I fall in love, I'm not only protecting myself but them also. What if  
once they find out they tell someone who tells someone else? God only know's rumors and newstravels as fast as wildflowers in this school, it could have only just happened and everyone would know withing two minutes. Also when word would spread to the parents, there's nothing  
Dumbledore could do about it and I wouldn't be able to finish my education which would give me an even smaller chance of getting a job, God only know's how small it is already. People are so ignorant, what they don't realize is that I only become a monster once a month and am no danger what so ever to any one until then. I'm also in seclusion during that brief period of time. "Here are be werewolves!" an other of the millions of Sirius quotes.   
  
I have soft brown goldish kinda hair, which is slowly greying due to my illness, I often dye it back to it's original color, which is no thanks to Sirius, whom last year made a big joke and what everyone said to be the beginning of a fad that lasted a week and a half. Sirius kept saying that gray was in, he even dyed his hair grey with the use of a nifty spell and wore only grey for that period of time, everyone called it the Remus. I have bluish eyes that turn to a pale gold the few days before my transformation. My ears are slightly pointish as 'Sirius-who-notices-everyone's-little-flaws' implies. My left ear lob if pierced and I always were the same gold plated earing, I can't have any silver, a big amount could kill me.   
  
I hate to admit it, but I'm kinda of a hippie because of my beliefs. I also do meditation and have quite a few Buddhist beliefs, Sirius says it makes me kinda girlish and corny, but most girls just think it makes me sensitive and deep, besides if Sirius doesn't act macho he feels sensitive and week and even though he puts up a front, he's not all he seems, great guy he is.  
  
My favorite class is coincidentally Defense Against the Dark Arts. I have a large knowledge of such things, especially dark creatures such as myself. My least favorite class is Arithmacy, I hate equations and all that stuff, it drives me insane that such a person invented them, all I need to know is what 22 is and how to count and I'll be fine.   
  
I'm keeper to Gryffindor's quidditch team, but we've also got a spare for me, due to my illness. James (the captain) said I was so good they couldn't afford not having me on the team and made arrangements with Dumbledore and professor McGonagall, but I still miss about two games a year. All the points we loose, we make up for in quidditch.   
  
One of the weirdest things I hate is broccoli, I practically have a fear of it. I'm very knowledgeable in the language department, I know a number of 20 languages which include: English, French, Italian, German, Spanish, Chinese, Latin and quite a couple of weird ones like:  
mermish, elvish, gnome, wolfish, fay and many more you probably never heard of, I can also speak with birds which I love doing, it's so cool.   
  
I'm from a pure blood family and so I don't know much about muggles, that of which I do know, is what I managed to grasp or actually bother to listen to and learn about instead of sleeping, in muggle studies. Honestly muggles are so boring. I love books, I live for them, my thirst for knowledge comes from them and they help me escape to a different world, one where no one know's me and my secrets. I sometimes love to be alone, especially if I need to think, which is why I'm not a very big talker like Lily who ironically is always thinking, I can practically see the gears turning in her head, she's a real multitasker. When I need to be alone, I usually take my favorite book and the marauders map and hide somewhere. The marauders map was my idea. We used to always get lost or forget a couple of the secret passages we found will doing our little midnight escapades. Even with James invisibility cloak we would sometimes get caught most of the time due to Peter's clumsiness. It's password protected (incase it falls into the wrong hands) and displays every room and hallways in the school, it also shows the people in the school, girls in pink dots and boys in bleu, they also have a little label with the person's name in it, it's really cool and also upgrades itself automatically. I dare say that it got us out of a lot of trouble in the past and most likely will in the future. We don't mind taking credit to a prank, especially James and Sirius, Peter is mostly shy and only participates if Sirius threatens him (he enjoys doing so for some weird reason).   
  
I like a band named the beatles, whom were introduced to me by one of my good friends: Lily Evans.   
  
Were known to the school as the biggest trouble makers in history, were known by one name, a name that unites us and our friendship, a name that reminds us who we are: were the Marauders. And I'm a part of them.

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**The end of chapter four  
**  
A/N: wow, this chapters long! Alright first of sorry for the major delay, secondly thanks to all my reviewers: ZombieGurl98, and especially: TearFromABlueRose, who reviewed every chapter. I typed this in like two hours for you guys, because I don't know for how long my Internet's gonna work.   
  
**About this chapter:** Remus doesn't have much self-esteem and thinks himself a monster, he's one of my favorite characters which is probably why his chapter is so long, I couldn't help it, besides if Remus had really written it, it most likely would have been this long maybe even more. If you hadn't noticed, Remus and Lily are very good friends and he know's a lot about her, which is wierd because she doesn't open up.

**Coming up:** Arabella Figg and a chapter containing two characters who will often be mentioned(the rich bitch and the hang around adoptive friend) and then finally the beginning of the story it's self.   
  
Well I got to go and finish a challenge fic, only got to the end of the week. Review, next chapter should be up by the end of the week depending on how many reviews I get. Flamers I don't accept but constructive criticism is always welcome.  
  
Thanks all  
  
The ever famous:   
Josie Evans


	5. The best friend

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

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Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while? ((NOT EXACTLY OOTP))

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**Show me someone not full of herself, and I'll show you an empty person.** **Unknown**

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ch.5: the best friend

Well, let's just cut to chase, shall we? No sense in beating around the bush, now is there? Well, I don't think there is. For starters my name's Arabella Figg, or as most people call me: Beila. I'm in my fifth year at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And I've just got to say: it's bloody hot out here! I'm currently in Egypt. My dad's bloody rich, we do very expensive family vacations every year. Lily envy's me for that, she's wanted to travel the world since the age of ten. That girl can't settle down, she always has to be in a different place, even when it comes to sleeping. She's known for sleeping on the couches in the Gryffindor common room, for two nights in a row, at least once a month. She does the same when she's at her house. But I'm not supposed to be talking about all of Lily's do's and don't's, this section is about me.

I have long, mid-waist black hair, with blue highlights. My eyes are green-ish aqua. As you may have already notice my best friend's Lily Evans. We meet in our first year, on the Hogwarts Express. I was running away from James Potter, little tyke he was, was trying to charm my hair a hideous green. Anyway, Lily was just standing there in the middle of the corridor, apparently watching the passing scenery as if entranced ( I later found out, this was the farthest away from her home town, she had ever been, and she was trying to take in and savour every moment of it.) "You haven't seen me!" I told her, as I opened the door to the empty compartment on her right. James had then apparently ran into her, in his haste. As she got up, she screamed her head off at him (things never change!). She was telling him off so loudly, that the doors to the surrounding compartments opened and curious heads popped out to see what the racket was about, seeing a little first year calling random names and yelling at a boy on the ground for no apparent reason, they went back to their own business. And as they did, my ear pressed to the door, I heard a faint: "She's really pretty. Like an Angel of God, huh Siri?" from James. Shortly after apologising, something no one has ever seen James Potter do, unless he really meant it, he left and Lily entered my compartment. "Oh my god, thanks, I'm Neily." I said presenting myself. "Neily? Short for Nemphadora?" she asked. "No, short for Arabella." That's when she gave me the Beila nickname which instantly stuck, after that we were best friends, inseparable.

Later that year we acquired an other friend, a quiet Hufflepuff, by the name of Derrick Wood. He's kinda short and doesn't really like big crowds and avoids them if possible. He's also one of our best friend. The three Musketeers as Lily likes to call us (she muggle born). The fourth musketeer would have to be Remus Lupin, we hang around with him a lot, he's really cool, it used to aggravate Lily, because Remus was best friends with James, but we (as in Lily, me and Remus) all got closer when Lily and James went out. I know crazy but, know they just hate each other more than previously, so nothing really changed.

I have the biggest of crushes on Sirius Black. I wouldn't even call it a crush, I'd call it love. I'm in love and I've got it bad. We'd been flirting for over a month, when he finally asked me out. We snuck out of Hogwarts and went to muggle London, where we saw a movie (a muggle way of showing a book to an audience with moving pictures.) Lily loves those, I think she sometimes secretly wishes to be an actor, which are people who preform said book or story, like theatre. Anyway, for some weird reason, Sirius's fascinated by muggles and anything to do with em. Especially some of their really popular inventions like skiing, which I think he just finds hilarious, which is most likely his reason of liking and the telephone, a devise Lily told me, is specified to talk to one an other directly with almost any one in the world by compressing a number of digits that correspond to the house of every one of them. It's a lot simpler and faster than owls if you ask me. Anyway, I was forgetting my main topic, which isn't to bore you readers to death. During our date, I had found Sirius, to be incredibly annoying, so next day at school, I had told him I just wanted to be friends. What I didn't seem to realise was that I would regret it. I found I actually really liked him, loved him. I found myself practically lusting after him. Worrying when he didn't show up to classes or if he didn't say hi to me in the hall. Happy when he did acknowledge my presence and flirted with me, or get week knees when he winked at me in the hall, and I became unable to utter anything but pathetic whispers. But I haven't told him how I felt, and now it's too late. He's already going out with someone. She's 21, I mean honestly 21?! I even asked Remus, whose best friends with him, to tell him. I was so worried as to what his reaction would be, but I think Remus knew I would regret it and so didn't inform him. Ever notice how, you want something even more because it's become unreachable? The unreachable always seems better than what right in front of your face. My mom says it's a human quality, always wanting what you can't have.

Lily's trying her best to be the optimistic one on this. She often is, when she herself isn't depress. I don't know of all the secrets she hides, but I know she has many. I have, although, grown to know she hates change and wishes everything could always stay the same. She also fears death.

I'm very contradictory, it's a habit I'm trying to quit. My parents are separated. I go to my father's for the holidays and my mother's for most part of the summer. I like thinking of life as an adventure, a constant roller coaster (muggle invention). I'm not the best in school but have a not so bad average and I'm at least not a procrastinator like Lily, she's always putting things off to the last minute, you'd think she'd learn. She says she works better under pressure. The teachers all accept her excuses, she's a good student with a pretty good average. In first year she some how managed not to get a single detention. She barely ever does her homework and somehow gets away with it (I swear she's some kind of a criminal mastermind) I've had so many detentions over undone homework or an uncompleted essay. It just seems to come easy to her I guess.

Pink is a pretty cool colour, I especially like torturing Lily with pink objects, she despises pink. Last year in our school memoriam (a kind of year book), she actually wrote pink down as her biggest fear.

I'm really skinny, I try to gain a little weight, I find that I'm as skinny as a skeleton, but the more I eat the more I lose. Lily is threatening to kill me, she has to work out and watch what she's eating to keep her weight.

I'm often happy, but have more than my share of problems, isn't it funny how everyone seems to be fighting a privet battle? No one has a perfect life with no problems, it just doesn't exist. As I write this, I look at my faintly scared wrists. Long white gashes on my arm, some following my veins. It's a good thing Hogwarts's school uniform have long sleeves or else I'd have to put loads of bracelets to keep the cuts concealed. When I first told Lily, I was afraid of her reaction, but she's been extremely supportive. I stoped not too long ago, but this summer restarted due to family problems, I quickly stoped after promising Lily. I try really hard to keep my promises.

My step-mother's a bitch. Fairytale writers clearly had something against step-mothers, not that I blame em. I love reading, when ever a class bores me, which is always, I read.

I often get drunk, it's just so fun, to have the courage to do things you other wise wouldn't dare doing, to not have a care in the world or to think of anything with any importance to forget about life and love and worrying about your cousin, whom also cuts herself, and whose friends help her cover it up. Stupid Beaubaton's academy, if only her mother would let her come to Hogwarts, I'd be able to really help her, and to have someone who understands me and we could help each other out, it would be even better.

Change in moods sounds pretty good right about now, I'm depressing myself. Well, I hate peanut butter and my favorite quidditch team's Wimbourne Wasps. Me and Lily always end up in a heated argument while discussing quidditch. Her favourite team's the Appleby Arrows, whom every body know's are sworn enemies, players and fans. Of course we don't let it get in the way of our friendship, even though it may occasionally bring little squabbles. What can I say, no relationship's perfect.

I also LOVE cherries. Yum! Cherries, not those cheap cherries in a can, I'm talking about those fresh of the vine cherries, cherries do come from vines right? I'll have to ask Lily later, they might come from mini trees for all I know.Frankly I think that's all you need to know about me for the moment. So I leave you with this wise word of advise: "To be no one but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you just like everybody else is to fight the greatest battle there is or ever will be."

I live by these words, now I wish you a good day, or night and to say that the Wasps are totally kicking the Arrows asses on Friday's match, just wish I could leave school for the day to go and see the match, aw well, guess I'll have to look the score up in the daily prophet.

**Yours truly:**

**Arabella Figg**

_Beila_

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**The end of Chapter five**

A/n: Thanks to my reviewer TearFromABlueRose. Send me reviews guys! Sorry for the delay, if you read my live journal, which is updated frequently or my bio, which is also. I've been in a recent car accident and only got to typing this chapter due to the working of my internet. The quote at the end, came from E.E. Cummings. NOW REVIEW EVERYBODY! I know you read it, now REVIEW!

**About this chapter:** I wrote this chapter, as if it were a kind of documentary journal, which she apparently seems to think will be read in the future, which explains her way of seeming to talk to an audience. About the whole cutting thing, my best friend does it, and I don't really know how it feel, so sorry for the lack of information on that. It's hard to cope with a friend who could injure her self badly.

**Next:** a chapter containing two characters who will often be mentioned (the rich bitch and the hang around adoptive friend) and then finally the beginning of the story it's self. WOW! Were so close people, so close, so leave a review, I update faster when you leave a review, think about it, leave a review, within days get an other chapter.

Well Cheerios

Josie out


	6. The rich bitch girlfriend

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

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Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while? ((NOT EXACTLY OOTP!))

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**"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end." ****Margaret Thatcher** ----**"'It is so easy to be wicked without knowing it, isn't it?'" ****Anne Shirley from L.M. Montgomery's _Anne of Green Gables_******

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ch.6: The rich bitch girlfriend 

"Clarice! Hurry up and pick something already! I hate this little shop and you know it!"

That's my boyfriend James Potter. He also happens to be my betrothal. We've been going out for about two years now, something I know little miss bitchy Lily envy's. I know she's just waiting for us to break up, like that's ever gonna happen, I've got him rapped around my finger. Even if it does happen, we'll still be together one way or an other, which is why I let him have a little fun with other girls. We were around six when we first met, that's when our fathers agreed we'd make a good couple. He and I come from the two richest and well respected _pure _blooded family's. He'll make a perfect husband! He's got quidditch teams and famous people scouting him since he was 10. Not only for the league but also as a future auror. He's also one of the handsomest guy's to walk the face of the earth.

As you may have figured out already, my name is Clarice Mindelan. I'm unfortunately related to that Arthur Weasley. He has not only marked and scared our name, but he also makes the rest of us look like a bunch of 'muggle loving, prancing, prats'. He hasn't upheld the family name. It's a good thing he's graduated and trying to apply for the misuse of muggle artifacts, for I don't have to see him, nor confirm that he's my cousin. We look nothing a like, thank god. I have long blonde hair and green eyes and no apparent freckles on my face, I have the goddess Aphrodite to thank for that. I like the Greeks, they worship beauty above all. I would get along great with them, perhaps even rule as their beautiful Queen.

"You know hunny, I rather like the pink ones in this style, be a dear and ask that peasant behind the counter if it's possible to get them that way."

Insufferable prats, what do you have to do to get a decent pair of earings around here? Aw yes, back to me! I quite enjoy the classical sounds of 'The Bozart Ghost', and love an ice cold lemonade while sitting on the bank of the ocean, with my Jamie-kin's.

I'm part of the 'United Celtic Knot Sisters', a kind of sisterhood containing the richest and most famous witches. I love going there during the summer vacations. I get to screw around with the male servants. Greek ancestry seems to run in most of their veins. With looks like those, I can't see how they're poor. Of course neither James nor my parents, know of my flirtatious nature. Heaven protect they ever found out for I, Clarice Gwendolyn Elisabeth Kathleen Mindelan, would not only be renounced but for shamed as a blood traitor and a wore. I would no sooner renounce my place atop the U.C.K.S. My reputation would be destroyed, imagine me, doing things which shall remain unmentioned with dragon stablers, kitchen boys and dog handlers. Honestly, it's a good thing this will remain confidential, but then again, if it were said to the public, who believe it.

"Claire, sweety. The man says they only come in blue in this style and pink in the other."

"I don't care what he says, he's a professional dragon scale jeweller, if he can figure out how to make them one colour and the other to reflect certain light or to refrain heat, he sure as I'm standing here, can figure out how to make them with that colour!"

Honestly, that peasant's so lazy, doesn't he know who I am? Now don't you worry, I always get what I want in the end. I'm around 5'5, but I can still order a slave to his knees or to snog and grope me. Of course if I ain't satisfied, a couple of lashings from my wand usually does the trick. They ought to know their rank and position in society, and a good memory charm never did anyone any harm, you don't think I'm stupid do you? They must satisfy their masters. I know what your thinking, why not use house elves? They're whinny little brats, whom are in your servitude for life, unless you present them with clothes. We at the U.C.K.S, haven't used house elves since the sixth century, when one of our sisters: Ruthe of Clearwater, made the mistake to ask half of the house elves, to wash her clothes. She had one for each article of clothing, to make sure of it's proper care and for some odd reason they took this as their freedom.

"Of course nothing but the best for you." he said dryly.

"I wouldn't have it any other way hunny."

He better not take that tone with me again, if he know's what's good for him. This is the last time I shop at 'The Dragon Emblem, jewellery for life, since 406 A.C'. Oh before I forget! My favourite colour's red.

I have a pet griffin at home named fluffy as well as a phoenix named tear. At school I have a pet cat named Rosie and a black and white owl named starlight. I know school regulation only allows the students to have one pet, but I wouldn't have it any other way and why should I?

My father is good friends with the ministry of magic, whom comes to super often during the summer, when I'm there. Not that I blame him, I do (as James puts it) have a killer rack.

"Here you go." said James, trusting the little package into my hands.

Hum, I'll have to work on that attitude, it's been getting worst lately. Like I said many times before, I _always_, get what I want in the end.

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**The End of Chapter 6**

**IMPORTANT:** I do realise I put two quotes at the beginning of this chapter, but I thought both seemed to relate to her. I'm also updating a second chapter today, due to my lack of updates and I won't be able to update as often when school restarts sep 1st, in 2 days! These are the last two mentioned characters before the beginning of the story itself. Thanks all! I also just realised this is the longest chaptered story I've written yet! So to a good beginning and remember criticism is always welcome, I don't just want an ego booster lol!

**A/N:** Thanks as always to TearFromABlueRose whose been here since the beginning, it's good to know that one has devoted fans. Also a big thanks to: Jewel, who reviewed my first chapter, and please read on and tell me what you think as well as what you didn't like, for without constructive criticism I won't be able to get better, it also help's know what fans of this story, like and don't so that I may improve on it. Thanks again!

**About this chapter:** She's kinda weird and well weird, not to mention vain and bitchy. I was kind of in a 'medieval-darkish-I-can-use-you-how-and-when-I-want' kinda phase. Kinda explains her. I had her all planed out at the beginning and she totally steered, aw well! I also decided to do her intro a little differently, liven things up a little, hope it didn't confuse any of you. She's an important secondary character which is the reason for her short chaptered appearance.

******Next:** The adoptive hang around friend and then the beginning of the story it's self.

Well? What you waiting for? A griffin to come and gorge your eyes out? Review and remember, I _always_ get what I want in the end! Buahahahaha! Um right, I don't think Clarice should be left out for a while. Oh ya, constructive criticism is one of my many friends.

Sayonara

Josie


	7. The adoptive hang around friend

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

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Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while? ((NOT EXACTLY OOTP))

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**"To be no one but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you just like everybody else is to fight the greatest battle there is or ever will be." ****e.e. cummings******

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ch.7: The adoptive hang around friend 

"I'm Wood, Derrick Wood!"

"Mom! Derrick's talking to his mirror again!"

"Am not! Get out you little runt! What are you doing in my room anyway mutchkin?"

"Ow! MUM! He's hurting me!"

"Am not! Get out you little troll!"

"Now don't you worry dear, I find those imitations quite hilarious."

"There not supposed to be hilarious you stupid mirror. Aw! Why do I even bother?"

"NOW HE'S TALKING TO HIMSELF!"

"Get out, you ugly little wart!"

"But Derrick, I want to play quidditch."

"Why do you even bother asking? You know I'm afraid of heights."

"But see, you don't have to fly high, only defend the practice baskets mom bought me for being such a good little girl."

He let out a loud snort, "You? Good? Now that's funny! You're in serious mental denial Andy."

"Andromeda Constance Ivra Wood! Leave your brother to his isolation."

"Mom! Shhh! Someone might hear you call me that, it's Andy and we leave it to that!"

"Now Derrick see what you've done? Calling Andromeda: Andy, from the day we named her! Now she's ashamed of her grandmother, great-grandmother, great-great-grandmother names. You ought to be ashamed of yourself Derrick Oliver Rudolph Wood!"

"Mom, Andromeda is too long and shhh! Someone might hear!"

"Oh for Merlin's beard! I give up." she said throwing a hand towel in Derrick's face. "Oh and seriously Derrick do something about that hair, you look like a...a monkey!" He just shrugged at his mother's retreating back. "Quidditch?"

"Quidditch!"

Dear Lily and Beila,

Hope old Rusty made it this time, sorry in advance for your mom's cake. He always ends up eating it. Can't wait for summer vacations to be over and ya I'm aware of the fact that it just started but Andy's already driving me up the wall! Why do 11 year old's have to be so energetic? I mean I just got creamed by her in quidditch 130-2 and that's without the apple snitch mom charmed for us. It hides in the apple trees which makes it nearly damn impossible to find. Now don't you start saying I'm not energetic enough and that I should play muggle sports with Lily because she only wants to play basketball and I'm like what? 5'6 she's 5'8? 5'9? I've got nothing over her.

I'm thinking of changing my hair colour again, maybe blue this time? It is, after all, my favorite colour. Now don't get mad Lily, I know your mom won't let you do anything to your hair, not that I blame em. Your hair colour's cool compared to my lousy thick brown hair. Mom's complaining about the length of my hair again. I"m seriously starting to think she's gonna run the scissors through it, while I sleep. It ain't that long! Beside's I look like the guys in those cool muggle rock bands Lily likes so much. Oh and Lily before I forget, you have duties as a prefect and you can't go around taking advantage of them. Now I know you don't like Potter and you have to patrol but you have a whole summer free Potter and then you and I have to attend meeting and duties.

It sucks having to live so far from the two of you, hope your having blast at Lily's oh and before I forget, mum says I can come over next week. Muggles are so fun to terrorize! I can't wait to see that 'ol prude that you call a sister, I'll bet she hasn't forgot what we did to her last summer! Admit it Lily, revenge is sweet! Seriously I don't know why the sorting hat put me in Hufflepuff, I should have been in Gryffindor! Aw well, nothing I can do about it...

"Why is he always complaining about that?"

"Shhh! Lily, I'm trying to read the rest of his letter, he wrote a friggen chapter."

"Don't you shhhh me Beila, I know your secret!"

"What?"

"You find Snape hot!"

"WHAT?!"

"You said so, last year, during that big party, you know?"

"Lily! I was drunk!"

"Shhh! I'm trying to read Rick's letter!"

"Argh!"

...There building a new house across the street, looks like an other mansion. Wonder who's moving in. Maybe if I'm lucky, it'll be Claire!...

"Dream on!" cried Lily and Beila at the same time.

...Who ever's moving, I hope there around my age, it's pretty boring having to live in a little all wizarding town with nothing but mutchkin and old people.

Well I got to go, you know I'm a little scrawny 15 year old and I'm starving!

Your friend

The 3rd musketeer

Derrick Wood

P.S: I found this nifty spell to change the colour of my eyes, now I can get rid of this boring grey colour!

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**The End of Chapter seven**

**A/N:** ha ha ha! I love this chapter! I like Andy the best. Thanks to everyone, and review! Constructive criticism is always welcome. This was as promised, the second updated chapter today and will be for maybe the next week or two, all depending with homework (school's starting in 2 days) and on working internet as well as time because the first chapter is already written I just have to type it.

**About this chapter:** Derrick's got a pretty cool hair cut, which he loves. He's outgoing and yet shy when it comes to the ladies, which is kinda weird because his two best friends: Lily and Beila are obviously girl. He's also got his share of guy friends that he often hangs out with, but he prefers hanging out with the girl. He apparently never loved being in Hufflepuff and tends to whine about it. A little unknown fact: He secretly likes Arabella, a little more than a friend if you catch my drift?! He likes to stand out, reason for his hair and eyes business.

**Next:** ch 8-The beginning (the beginning of the story itself).

godspeed

Josie


	8. Dedication

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

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Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while? ((NOT EXACTLY OOTP))

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To

TearFromABlueRose

reviewer from the beginning

Your reading as well as comments have pushed me thus far, and it is thanks to you this story has reached part of it's potential. Your stories which have kept me occupied for numerous hours are as delightful as yourself.

Once more thank you, best wishes

THE AUTHOR:

Josie G. Evans

P.s: sorry for all the mellow drama-ness, but I wanted to add a dedication and I figured what better person to dedicate it to than you, thanks!

**Ch.8:** I want to first off excuse myself for my lateness but a virus slash cold, homework, sometimes evil homework giving teachers as well as lack of time and hours in a day, have kept me from updating. So to you Raspberry Sugar Quills fans out there, ch.8 has been posted. I repeat ch. 8 has been posted. Once more for you people with the difficulty to comprehend: ch.8 has been posted. Enjoy!

Josie G. Evans©

I would also like to take this moment to thank _all_ of my beautiful reviewers:

first and foremost-**TearFromABlueRose**: What else can I say?!

-**PadfootPrankster13:** Great stories, keep up the good work!

-**ZombieGurl98:** Hope you've continued to read the story, thanks for your review!

-**Jewel:** Your review made me so... happy, you brightened up my day, hope you like the other chapters, and once again thanks!

-**Angul-gurl:** thanks for your review and I also like the description thingys, LOL!

-**Musicizbest:** The actual fic is now up, enjoy and thanks for your review!

And last but certainly not least:

-**Immy:** Yes, I used all the flames ( you know there hasn't been any, except for the 50.0 flamers you sent there way LOL!) on his family. Thanks for your review!

To all: MERCI BEAUCOUP!

To all you non french: THANKS A MILLION!

Remember constructive criticism is always welcome so are ideas, suggestions, points of vu and anything else you might want to add. Now without further more, to THE STORY!


	9. The beginning to a bad day

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

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Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while?

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**You've got to dance like no one's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt. ****Unknown (words to live by)**

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IMPORTANT: this chapter contains some of Arabella's thoughts, there in italics. 

PART ONE

_The beginning_

ch.8- the beginning to a bad day:

"Lily. LILY! Wake up Goddam it!

"Don't use the lords name in vain." I said turning over on my side, ignoring the protest of the person next to me.

"I ain't, now get out of bed!" she said jumping on my bed, making my soft comfortable mattress think it was ocean of waves rather than a straight, non-moving object.

What's the point of getting out of bed when you know what's going to happen? What's the point of learning if the teachers don't teach you the importance in life? Why don't they teach you about heartbreak and how to over come misery? Live life to the fullest is one of my favourite mados but how can you live life to the fullest being stuck in a classroom listening to someone who is supposedly superior to you, talk about boring useless subjects and things you'll never use in your whole damned life? Live life to the fullest. I would like to travel the world, to see the great pyramids of Egypt up close. To go up the many stairs of the Eiffel Tower, to visit Buckingham palace, to see and experience different cultures. To learn while experiencing. To do good to the earth and help all future beings of this sometimes beautiful planet. To take time and appreciate the melodic birds song in the morning and enjoy the trees, sun, clouds, even the insects and creations of God that we were meant to rule over, but in the end, were all equals. All a living thing trying to cooperate with life and it's difficulties, but with difficulties come rewards, or so I'm told. Instead I'm stuck in this crappy town, as far as I'm concerned I might not have left my hometown, no one is aware of where this school is situated. I remember when I was younger, my first year, when I had the coincidental inconvenience of meating James Potter. I remember looking out the window of the train in the hallway, thinking of how free I finally was as I looked at the passing scenery changing. Now I realised that I most likely never left what I so wanted to leave behind.

"LILY! Were gonna be late!" whined Arabella.

"Since when do you care about being late?" I asked knowing the answer.

"Arm guy!" she yelled excitedly. Am I the only mature person left in this whole damned school? Well actually I shouldn't talk, I can be as mature as a five year old.

"Of course, Sirius Black would have something to do with this. Isn't he going out with that seventh year?"

"No, he's dating that 21 year old Rosemerta. You know that bartender at Three Broomsticks?" she said her face mingled with sadness and furry. Love what an unnecessary thing, all it does is stab you in the back while you sleep. I've given up on love, I realised my prince charming isn't gonna come knocking anytime soon, who needs love anyway, I'm a pretty independent person, I've been doing pretty well all by myself for the past couple of years.

"The heart has it's own set of rules, so you can't reason with it, the heart does and gets what it wants." I said matter of factually, quoting someone or something I read a long time ago.

"Whatever, your too deep for me."

Hopelessly in love is what she claims, she got a chance with him and blew it away. Was she afraid of commitment (just as he is)? Honestly they're made for each other. She has many secrets and although she's open with most of them, a part of her still remains a mystery. You can never get to fully know someone. As soon as you think you've got them all figured out, they do something to doubt you know very much. I mean, I talk a lot and I admit it, in a way I'm even proud of it, but when I talk to much she'll tell me to shut up, but when I don't she immediately thinks there's something wrong and practically orders me to talk. 'I haven't heard you all day, talk! What wrong? Your tongue finally brake?'

"Now stop changing the subject and get out of bed!" Arabella yelled, "besides you've got that stupid essay given to us last Tuesday and it's due this morning, which if I might remind you, is due today!" _That girl, biggest procrastinator ever. Somehow she always finishes what she has to do, on time. I heard somewhere that procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday, and of course Lily isn't the biggest fan of change._

Might as well give in, she know's she's right. "Right, I'm up." I called from under the blankets I had used to smother her constant stream of nagging.

"So what do we have this morning?"

"Double Transfiguration and then History of boredom." Answered Beila.

"Right, got breakfast yet?"

"Ya and I brought you back an apple."

"Ex-ci-ment." I said my mouth full of said apple. "I'm hitting the showers, I hope Lydia left warm water this time." _Lily added, referring to me of our annoying room mate know to use up all of the warm water in Gryffindor tower._ "There's always heating charms!" _I yelled back._ "Now hurry, we all know you can be in the shower for over an hour yourself, class starts in twenty minutes, so you've got ten minutes to get ready, that's a three minute shower. I'm counting!" _I finished, funny how I have no memory, except for useless things, like the colour of someone's tie and agenda's. _

**10 minutes later:**

"Honestly Lily, your hair looks fine, you don't have to dry it, it'll dry it's self." protested Beila.

"Oh alright!" gave in Lily. The two girls walked down the staircase leading to the girls dormitories and into the common room.

"New style Lily?" asked Remus with a slight chuckle.

"Yes, haven't you heard? Looking like you just came out of the great lake, is the newest fashion. Some people are really getting into it: growing squid tentacles and using sea weed as belts and jewellery." answered Lily.

"She's joking right?" asked a puzzled Remus.

"Of course she is, that girl has to much imagination for her own good." answered Beila.

"Ya well you can hardly ever tell when she's sarcastic unless she really wants to show it."

"Would you guys stop talking about me as if I weren't here? I'm standing right between you two wankers." Lily interrupted, aggravation in her voice, as she opened the door to their Transfiguration classroom. "Oh shit! I didn't finish that essay!"

"Now she remembers." whispered Beila into Remus's ear, "Weren't you listening to me this morning?"

"No, not really." she answered sheepishly.

"Really feeling the love. Well you've got five minutes."

"Great! Remus! Can I borrow your pen? The one that writes down what you say?"

"My recorder? Oh alright! But be carful." he said unable to withstand her large puppy dog eyes.

"Thanks you're the best!"

"Were would that girl be without us?" questioned Arabella.

"Probably in the middle of some desert." joked Remus, all the while laughing at Lily's exasperated expression.

* * *

"Transfiguration is magic which changes one object into another. It is possible to change inanimate objects into animate ones and vice versa." she read aloud from her Transfiguration book and watched in amazement as the pen scribbled furiously onto the parchment, writing down every word. After all these years the simplest of things still amazed her, she had experienced and borrowed this pen often and yet she still got excited at the site of it. "Some Transfiguration spells alter..."

"Hey! Little red riding hood! Still haven't done your homework? It still amazes me how you get away with everything and get good grades just sitting around on your fat lazy arse doing nothing all day. You are aware Minnie will be arriving any minute now, don't you?" he asked. He actually seemed to want to hold a polite conversation, even though he had managed to slip in a couple of insults. It still surprised Lily, something wasn't right, he must be up to something, well I certainly won't be the but of an other of his ridiculous pranks. "Go away Potter." she said trough gritted teeth, not wanting to cause an other scene, god only know's that's probably what he wants.

"What? Aren't I allowed to converse with a fellow carrot head such as yourself? Are you to good for me? It was only a simple question, besides did you ever stop to think that maybe I was watching out for that fat but of yours Evans?"

Yep! Definitely something up. "...a part of something, such as changing a person's ears from normal into rabbit ears." she said, choosing to ignore him. "Circe, a Witch who lived in the Greek island of Aeaea, was famous for turning lost sailors into pigs."

"Ok listen Tiger Lily, I was wondering if you'd finished that charms essay. The one that's due for today?"

"Yes, and what's it to you?"

"Well since you're the only one in this classroom that happens to take charms with me and since I can't find anyone else who's easy, I was wondering if you'd..."

"Like hell am I tutoring you!" she said cutting him off.

"God no, don't flatter your self Evans, five minutes with you is enough to send anyone to St-Mongos. Actually I was wondering if I could copy it." he said, his voice more a statement than question. "Oh why not, I'll let you copy all of my homework, infact from now on, I'm your new nerd, I'll even write it for you."

"Great, now that's settled..."

"Like hell you cocky self absorbed bastard, you seriously thought I was sincere?"

"Well ya, and since there isn't anyone smart around I'll just have to bug off you."

"Listen Potter, I know your lazy and one of the biggest prats in the world and your used to getting everything served to you on a golden platter but it doesn't work for me, so DO IT YOURSELF! That said, I bid you goodbye you egoistical, womanizing, man whore." she said mockingly bowing.

"Can you be anymore insulting red?"

"Yes, and if you don't stop calling me all these idiotic names devoted and inspired by my hair, I'll knock your lights out." she said a large smile playing on her lips. Oh how he wanted to wipe it off, he couldn't let her know she'd gotten to him. "Speaking of bright lights, where's your sidekick? The brightest star in the sky?"

"He's..."

"Right here." said Sirius, seeming to appear out of no where. "And who you calling sidekick Lils? I'm the El Capitano! The meat in the burger, the snitch from a quidditch match, the ink for a quill, the..."

"Ya we get the point Oh queer one!" yelled Remus bowing down from his seat across the room.

"Oh captain, my captain!" joined in Peter.

"I bid you good afternoon my captain." said Lily bowing her head in Sirius's direction as she grabbed her ink, books and parchment as she headed to a free table at the back of the class. Funny how she and Sirius had often gotten along.

"Good morning class! I take it you've all finished your essays? Please come and place them on my desk up front. Now the end of the year is here and for all you fifth years that means O.W.L's. There next week, for you forgetful ones." she said looking in Peter's way as he quickly wrote down on a large roll of parchment. "This year we've learned about switching spells, you've also should have mastered how to transfigure a mouse into a snuffbox, remember: extra points for how pretty the snuffbox is, points off if it still has whiskers Ms. Figg. We've also transformed a teapot into a tortoise and not into snapping poisonous turtles named 'teddy #2'." she said looking in Sirius's direction as everyone remembered quite vividly the incident, none of them where likely to forget soon. 'Teddy' had bad enough, but to have a 'teddy #2' roaming the school was an other thing.

"Vanishing spells, we've worked on invertebrates, snails Mr. Jones." she added at the confused look of one of her pupils. "The Inaimatus Conjurus spell is an other. Now I would like to remind you all that I require an 'E' on the O.W.L's for everyone interested in going to my N.E.W.T's class next year."

* * *

"Wonder why James was actually trying to have a conversation with you." said Arabella.

"So do I." replied Lily, just then a loud explosion came from Lily's backpack and a Dr. Filibuster's Fabulous Wet-Start, No-Heat Fireworks came sprouting out spelling out: Lily Evans heart Filius Flitwick.

Sure it was very immature and definitely not one of their best, but it did give Lily two weeks detention scrubbing every Hogwart students nightmare: the trophies, from the trophy room.

* * *

**The End of Chapter eight**

**A/N:** I know crappy ending, but I'm about to drop dead from fatigue and wanted to type this for you wonderful readers. What's gonna happen next? Will teddy come back and terrorize the school as it takes it's revenge upon Sirius for flushing him down the toilet so many years ago? By the way I wrote a story about teddy, I should post it, I've had many questions about teddy and the story answers them all. Like I've said sorry for the major delay, read dedication for further information.

**About this chapter:** The reason for James talking to Lily? It actually brings two things the second one should be in the next chapter. Now to clarify things. The preface (description of every character) says there in the beginning of their summer vacations and yet this chapter talks about O.W.L's which is during the end of their fifth year. I plan I going to the end of their fifth year (the next two chapters or so) and then bring you to the old summer blues (one to two chapters) and then the beginning of their 6th year and that ladies and maybe hopefully gentleman, is where the action starts, as well as major conflicts, love problems... Now I'll shut up or I'll devolve the whole story before I even have the chance to type it. LOL!

Kudos

'Night everyone, don't let the bugs bite

Josie G. Evans©


	10. The perfect morning to a perfect day

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

* * *

Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while?

* * *

**"They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." Andy Warhol**

* * *

IMPORTANT: this chapter contains James thoughts, there in ''.

* * *

PART ONE

_The beginning_

* * *

ch.9- The perfect morning to a perfect day:

****It's almost as if I knew when I woke up this morning, I knew, that I, the great James Potter, would be pranking Lily Evans. Lily Evans, better known as: red, carrot top, carrot, fire head, little red riding hood, tiger lily, lily-kins, wildflower, tiger and of course John (don't ask).

The plan worked out better than expected, couldn't ask for more. Remus wasn't even included (do you blame me? He most likely wouldn't have participated and would have also made sure that we didn't go through with it) but he did play the biggest part in the prank, even thought he didn't know. Poor guy, he'll forgive us due time, for the while he should just take this as my revenge. Can you believe he's friends with her?! The enemy?! The soon to be grilled chicken?! The red headed raspberry freak?! Ya you heard, or rather read me correctly, I called her the red headed raspberry freak, primarily for lack of better words, it is early in the morning and I'm bloody tiered, but mostly because it describes her so well. By now I bet your all wondering of my immature but master plan? If your not, I guess you'll just have to read anyway, for this is what's in front of your face. So here's how it all happened...

"OY!"

"Sirius, you wanker! Piss off!"

"Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, my little Jamsie-poo?" asked Sirius , in a mocking baby tone.

"You screamed in my ear you daft idiot."

"Oh so sorry me Lord! May I kiss ye feet? Shall make thy fell better?! So, what are we doing today? Perhaps attacking Snape?" he asked an evil grin growing on his face.

"Nah, we did that yesterday, besides I have something better in mind."

"Like what? This isn't an other of your red gelatine in the guys loo, is it?"

"What? No, no, it's..."

"It isn't an other ridiculous plan involving monkeys, a camera and Flitwick, is it?" he asked, a shiver passing trough them at the memory.

"No you moronic prat, stop interrupting me. No were going for the bigger leagues today, someone almost no one dares to defy and humiliate, but us. "

"Minnie?"

"No where not out to get Professor McGonagall, were out to get Evans today." James said cackling evilly.

"And you think I'm off my rockers. Wait! Did you say? Please tell me I didn't hear you right. I'm begging, please!" he said down on his knees begging at James feet, his arms tightly wrapping James legs, which caused him to topple over and fall on the couch.

"Ow, you bloke, get off me! What the hell's your problem anyway?"

"Uh, hello! Evans? Lily Evans? Ring a bell? Maybe this will help: she can be the span of the devil when pissed off!" he yelled still on top of James. "Remember last time? Or do you just like to get your arse whopped to last Tuesday? Wait! We had porkchops last Tuesday! Oh no please evil gods of porkchops, spare me!" he said down on his knees seemingly praying to James Charms book.

"Padfoot buddy, I think you finally lost it. Where's Moony? He owes me ten gallons and five sickles."

"Wait, what?" he asked outraged, "you guys have been betting about how long it would take for me to crack?"

"Ya, since first year, honestly I'm surprised you haven't noticed by know."

"Really feeling the love." he said dully, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his lips forming a pout that could only be described as sexy, by a mad Sirius lover. "So what's the plan Mr. Genius?"

"Now we get to the point!" he said exasperated, "Well I was thinking, you know those Filibuster Fireworks you love so much? The ones you got for your birthday last year?"

"The ones where you add a personal message?"

"Ya those, we'll put one in Evans's bag and make it go off during Transfiguration, which we have this morning, so we got to act quick. Poor Evans, won't know what hit her, or in this case exploded. Besides, what day are we?" James asked, a look and tone which clearly meant that there was a different meaning to the question, one which Sirius should know.

"Uh, Monday." he answered, unsure of himself.

"Exactly, which means...?"

"Chicken for super?"

"Yes, I mean no, well ya but it also means Evans will most likely be late and when she gets in class, she'll be doing her homework, which means she'll easily be distracted."

"Right! So were having chicken for super, I knew it! Oh my beautiful chicken, I hear your almighty beckoning call, for super couldn't come any sooner!" he sang, dancing around a table getting curious glances from passing students.

* * *

He looked at the parchment covered with fresh ink. "Alright how's this: Lily Evans heart Flitwick?"

"It's ok."

"Great, so we'll..." he stoped in mid sentence as Lily came into the classroom, shortly followed by Arabella and Remus, whom where laughing. Lily seemed aggravated 'What else is new?' he thought. Someone had apparently dropped a bucket of water on her head, probably Peeves.

"Earth to Prongs! Lily is calling you! Oy! Is there still a living breathing brain cell left in that big head of yours? If so yelled out so I can get a recruit to help! Ow! What was that for?"

"Shut up, look."

"Ya, well I'm not into guys."

"Not Remus you moron, Evans."

"I know you like her and all but that's obsessed..."

"Listen!" he snapped.

"My recorder? Oh alright! But be carful." he heard Remus saying, handing Lily his precious recorder.

"Were would that girl be without us?" questioned Arabella.

"Probably in the middle of some desert." joked Remus, all the while laughing at Lily's exasperated expression.

'Perfect, Remus my friend, remember me to thank you later!' James thought. He turned to Sirius who was sitting next to him flirting with some Ravenclaw. "Sirius! Look at what Remus gave her!" he said pointing in Lily's direction.

"Remus's recorder, so what?"

"Your so thick Padfoot my boy. I distract her, you plant this in her bag and I get her mad, as usual when she gets mad at me, she'll swear and yell at me, the pen's gonna record it all on her paper but only what she says. She won't realise, or at least I'm hopping and she'll give the parchment to Minnie." he finished looking like some mad men coming to a conclusion to something like the right amount of baking powder to add in a cake.

"You deducted all that just by looking at that recorder? Man you sure need a good banging."

James chose to ignore him by putting the piece of parchment with: Lily Evans heart Flitwick, into the Filibuster Firework.

* * *

"Transfiguration is magic which changes one object into another. It is possible to change inanimate objects into animate ones and vice versa." she read aloud from her Transfiguration book, all the while looking at the recorder with amazed fascination, you'd think she was a muggle. "Some Transfiguration spells alter..." she continued.

"Hey! Little red riding hood! Still haven't done your homework? It still amazes me how you get away with everything and get good grades just sitting around on your fat lazy arse doing nothing all day. You are aware Minnie will be arriving any minute now, don't you?" he asked, making his way to her desk. 'Polite conversation, the best way to get her suspicious and mad. Of course it wouldn't hurt to add a couple of insults.' he thought.

"Go away Potter." she said trough gritted teeth.

"What? Aren't I allowed to converse with a fellow carrot head such as yourself? Are you to good for me? It was only a simple question, besides did you ever stop to think that maybe I was watching out for that fat but of yours Evans?" 'That's it, reel her in, tempt her, aw this is gonna bloody brilliant! She'll probably be after my hide once this is finished, but it will have been worth it!'

"...a part of something, such as changing a person's ears from normal into rabbit ears." she said, choosing to ignore him. "Circe, a Witch who lived in the Greek island of Aeaea, was famous for turning lost sailors into pigs."

"Ok listen Tiger Lily, I was wondering if you'd finished that charms essay. The one that's due for today?" 'Don't make her too suspicious, she'll start looking around her, noticing Sirius isn't hers, honestly being almost joined at the hip with him can sometimes be a real pain.'

"Yes, and what's it to you?"

"Well since you're the only one in this classroom that happens to take charms with me and since I can't find anyone else who's easy, I was wondering if you'd..."

"Like hell am I tutoring you!" she said cutting him off.

"God no, don't flatter your self Evans, five minutes with you is enough to send anyone to St-Mongos. Actually I was wondering if I could copy it." he said, his voice more a statement than question.

"Oh why not, I'll let you copy all of my homework, in fact from now on, I'm your new nerd, I'll even write it for you."

"Great, now that's settled..." 'She is so not gonna let this slide.' he thought a smile growing on his lips.

"Like hell you cocky self absorbed bastard, you seriously thought I was serious?"

"Ow, that hurt, but since there isn't anyone smart around I'll just have to bug off you."

"Listen Potter, I know your lazy and one of the biggest prats in the world and your used to getting everything served to you on a golden platter but it doesn't work for me, so DO IT YOURSELF! That said, I bid you goodbye you egoistical, womanizing, man whore." she said mockingly bowing.

"Can you be anymore insulting red?"

"Yes, and if you don't stop calling me all these idiotic names devoted and inspired by my hair, I'll knock your lights out." she said a large smile playing on her lips. Oh how he wanted to wipe it off, he couldn't let her know she'd gotten to him. "Speaking of bright lights, where's your sidekick? The brightest star in the sky?"

"He's..." 'Oh shit, where's Sirius? Think fast... nothing, blank...going down, I've been shot, calling for backup!' he thought frantically

"Right here." said Sirius, seeming to appear out of no where. 'Sirius! Great timing! It's almost as if he heard my mental calls, must be the telekinesis thingy he was talking about the other day.'

"And who you calling sidekick Lils? I'm the El Capitano! The meat in the burger, the snitch from a quidditch match, the ink for a quill, the..."

"Ya we get the point Oh queer one!" yelled Remus bowing down from his seat across the room.

"Oh captain, my captain!" joined in Peter.

"I bid you good afternoon my captain." said Lily bowing her head in Sirius's direction as she grabbed her ink, books and parchment as she headed to a free table at the back of the class.

"Good morning class! I take it you've all finished your essays?..." he heard Minnie saying. Ah, hear comes her endless droning, time to practice up on my attacking stick drawings.

* * *

"Here she comes." said James to Sirius, whom where crouched behind a statue on the corner of the Transfiguration classroom, waiting for Evans. He decided to let the firework go off in the hallway, it would look less suspicious to teachers.

"Wonder why James was actually trying to have a conversation with you." said Arabella.

"So do I." replied Lily, just then a loud explosion came from her backpack and a Dr. Filibuster's Fabulous Wet-Start, No-Heat Fireworks came sprouting out spelling out: Lily Evans heart Filius Flitwick.

Sure like I said it was a very immature prank and not one of our best, but it did give Lily two weeks detention. 'The perfect morning to a perfect day.' he thought looking at a passing teacher yell at Lily for: loud and colorful distraction in a hallway (funny that describes Sirius perfectly) and use of magic in a hallway. 'Life is good, would be better if I could find Jane, I do have urges you know, I am a man, I'm sensitive and I have needs, as well as a tight crotch. I have fifteen minutes before class starts, perfect, more than enough time.' he thought walking in the opposite direction of students who were surround Lily so as to get a better look of the colourful firework display.

* * *

**End of chapter 9**

**A/N: **I know not one of my best, but I'm loaded with homework but I decided to update this for you readers. Been knocking my head in on how I should write this on, bloody tiered too. So sorry for my long absence, it might be like that t'ill this weekend, I might have time to upload new chapters and my new stories. As usual constructive criticism is welcome. If you're a beta, contact me, my stuff of late, sucks. If you're a muse, contact me, I know what to write about but I need inspiration and someone to urge me on, that also means you readers. I know you read it, now review! ****

**About this chapter:** Well now you know the second thing that brought James to talk to Lily. Next chapter? Well you'll just have to read and see, I can't wait for the romance and angst to really start and yes to answer some of your questions: I'm a hopeless romantic. If you guys have any questions, ask them, I'll take the time to answer them.

**Thanks:** As usual thanks to: TearFromABlueRose, for reviewing. You do deserve the dedication, I love your new fic: She will be loved, also happens to be one of m y favorite songs, update soon. Oh and 2 in the friggen morning? Are you serious? That's crazy! My best of luck with that. Also a big thanks to a new reviewer: marauderbabe289. Hope you guys liked it.

Well with that all said,

Kudos

and 'Night everyone, don't let the bugs bite

Josie G. Evans©****


	11. Unexpected

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

* * *

Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while?

* * *

**"It is far better to forgive and forget than resent and remember." Anonymous**

* * *

PART ONE

_The beginning_

**ch.10:** Unexpected 

'Potter better watch his step, if I see him, he'll be one dead ex-quidditch player.' Lily thought as she headed to the great hall for lunch. 'And Sirius most likely planted the thing in my bag!'

She sat down next to Arabella, seething.

"Lily, don't sweat it, two weeks is kinda harsh, but it could have been worst." said Arabella trying to cheer her up.

"Worst?! How the hell could it have been worst?!" she all but yelled at Arabella.

"It could have been with the potion teacher, now there's a nightmare. I know this guy, who know's this girl, who's going out with this guy, who know's this one kid who served detention in the dungeons for two days and who had to spend a week in the hospital wing. Apparently he still can't sleep at night and the guys in his dormitory hear him muttering in his sleep." she said with a look of all knowing. Arabella tended to know lot's of things on people she all but knew. It never did surprise Lily, she had many connections, what with her dad being a world renown treasure hunter, she tended to know many people.

"Well, I still don't see how I've got to serve two weeks of detention when I was but an innocent bystander. I'm gonna kill that asshole!" she said unconsciously stabbing the piece of steak in her plate.

"Whoa Lils, don't take it out on the poor dead animal." said Remus with a grin, as he plopped down next to her.

"Shut up Lupin!" she said harshly, "I don't have time for your stupid tree hugging lessons." Lily said flustered as she got up and briskly left the great hall.

Remus shrugged and took Lily's seat. "So...how's it going Beila?" he asked innocently, trying to make conversation.

"Like hell." she muttered, with a sigh she went back to swirling her peas around her plate.

* * *

Lily was walking down a hallway, fuming. She didn't really know where she was going or where she was for that matter, so she just kept on going. A messy head rounded the corner. She'd know that messy black hair anywhere, _Potter_.

"Potter!" she yelled, "What the hell is your problem? I've got two weeks of detention no thanks to you. Not to mention..."

"Miss Evans!" yelled professor McGonagall, "Come into my office, right now!"

* * *

"What is the meaning of this?" she asked trusting a roll of parchment into her hands. They were in her office, which was surprisingly vast, Lily had never been inside it. It was richly furnished with a large mahogany desk in the middle. She looked around a little uneasily, McGonagall had never gotten angry at her, what was it that she could have done. It couldn't have been because I was just yelling at James, she was thinking frantically, racking her brain for a plausible explanation. It wasn't as if she had never gotten into trouble, quite the contrary, she just had never been caught by McGonagall before, she had always made sure to erase all evidence.

"I'm afraid I don't know what your implying." she said looking down at the scroll she had threw in her hands. Her name was at the top; she read the first two lines and realised that it was her essay, the one she had given that morning.

"Not there, I'm talking about the vulgar language near the end of your essay. Such words should never come out of a young lady's mouth, but I was even more surprised to see it come out of yours. Now your one of my best students -work wise, but I'm afraid there can be no exception. Two weeks detention and you'll have to re-write your essay. This time, do use a quill instead of those stupid recorders everyone has been using of late."

Lily had started to space out a little after the part on how a _lady_ should behave. Seriously she sounded like her mother. "Um? Right, sorry professor, won't let it happen again...Wait! What?" she asked bewildered, "Two weeks detention? But it wasn't even my fault, it was Potter who..."

"Mr. Potter, aw yes! Well I thought he might have had something to do with this, but it's no excuse." she said. Her angry stare dissolved into a slight smile, but it left as soon as it had came, "Since your rarely in detention, I'll give you only a week, but don't let it happen again. I'll also be taking 20 points from Gryffindor for your vulgar language, understood?"

"Yes." she said leaving the classroom.

'She is such a bright student. If only she didn't stop paying attention when something disinterested her. She's got the shortest attention span I've ever had to deal with, worst than Sirius, and that's saying a lot.' professor McGonagall thought silently getting back to her work load.

* * *

"Now before the bell rings, I'll assign you your homework. Yes I know, you were all hoping I'd forget. Last weeks assignments on the different phases of the moon, is to be given in tomorrow. Tonight's homework however is to write an essay on Jupiter's moons. To be given in two days hence. Don't forget O.W.Ls are next week. You are all required to come at midnight in the Astronomy Tower for the exam." Their teacher yelled as the bell resounded in the classroom and the students started to take their leave.

"I can't wait for the O.W.Ls to be finished." whined Lily to Derrick.

"Ya, I know what you mean, they're a real drag." he answered. "Hey did you do that essay yet? The one with the moon phases? I'm missing a couple."

"Actually I haven't started..."

"What?" Derrick said, cutting her off. "Lily, that essay takes over four days to do, why do you think she gave us a week and a half?" he asked incredulous.

"Well, I was..."

"Rick, my man!" exclaimed Johnathan Knight, giving Derrick a high five. Johnathan was tall and had blue eyes; he was quite handsome, as most girls put it. He was a friend of Derrick's whom Lily disliked. He was on the Hufflepuff's quidditch team and tended to be a real pervert.

"Lily-kins, how's it hanging?" he asked, looking below her throat, something he often did when around Lily, or any girl for that matter.

"You know, you'd be so much prettier if you'd show your legs more and stoped wearing those awful sweatshirts." he said eyeing her legs.

"Um, John, I think you better leave before Lily boxes you." said Derrick knowing Lily was getting frustrated.

"Aw! Lily doesn't hate me, besides, she doesn't have the guts to hit me." he said with a grin, as he put his arm around her shoulders.

"I've got enough detentions as it is, but you've been warned Knight." she said manically, while brutally taking his arm off of her.

"Hey Red!" yelled James from the other end of the hallway. 'The two people I hate, all at once, great! I'm cursed, jinxed! Someone up there is really out to get me.' she thought angrily watching Potter make his way through the throng of people with difficulty.

"Just wanted to remember you your detention's tonight at eight thirty in the great hall." he said, a sly grin slowly playing itself on his lips.

Lily looked at him angrily, holding off the urge to slug him in the nose with her famous punch. She turned around and stalked off.

James and Johnathan faced each other and shrugged. They both went their separate ways, leaving Derrick in the middle of the hall looking confused.

* * *

Lily was in Gryffindor tower doing her homework. She had skipped her last class -magic of history, so that she could get a head start with her homework. Professor Binns never did take attendance and Lily had asked Arabella to take notes for her. With detention the next three week, she wouldn't have much time for homework and it would definitely take it's tole on her. She was already behind in a couple of her classes, she couldn't afford to slack anymore.

The portrait hole opened. Lily was so engrossed in her work she hadn't even heard the portrait open, and so she was surprised when Remus asked her what she was doing.

"Bloody hell Remus! Trying to give me a bloody heart attack?" she asked. "What the hell are you doing here anyway? Class isn't even over."

"I should be asking you that." he said, his blue eyes twinkling and a large smile. He had large, dark bags under his eyes and seemed tiered although he hadn't seemed this morning, maybe it was just the lighting. For some strange reason Lily's heart beat quickened as she looked at his charming smile, and she knew it wasn't from the fright she had just experienced. "Hall pass." he answered, when Lily kept looking at him.

"Um, right."

"I came looking for you. Arabella said you were catching up on homework?" he asked worriedly.

"Well don't look so shocked, it's not a big deal."

"It's not the skipping part that shocked me, it was you doing homework." he said laughing, as Lily lightly slugged him on the shoulder.

"Shut up." she said, laughing along side of him.

"So you need help?" he asked with a look of anticipation on his face.

* * *

"So, how went the detention?" asked Arabella, as Lily threw herself, face forward on her bed.

"Barrrd."

"What? Lily, get your face off the pillow so that I can hear you." Arabella said exasperated, speaking in a tone which reminded Lily of a teacher speaking to a five year old.

"Professor Page, the evil ass he is, made me wash all of the dishes from super." she said with a sigh. She was now on her back, closely examining her canopy, which had a picture of Robert Plant posted to it. She loved Led Zeppelin, according to her, it was the best bloody rock band to hit the face of the earth. Back in her first year, she had brought a muggle record player with her, which she had charmed with the help of professor Flitwick. She had brought all of her records, which contained every single Led Zeppelin album, up to date and all of her old Beatles records.

"Aren't the house-elves supposed to do that?"

"Ya, but he figured it would be a nice gesture to give the house-elves the night off. Slimy ass. I hate men!" proclaimed Lily.

"No you don't."

"Ok so I don't, but I hate most of them. Arseholes who can't think of nothing but sex and their benefits. So long they have what they want, the rest of the world could perish for all they care. A different girl here and there, none of them are satisfied with just one!" she said angrily.

"Lily, you really got to let that King Gerry the 5th, thing go." she said, waving her hand dismissively.

"It's King Henry the eight!" she practically yelled. Everyone seemed to be getting on her nerves lately, she couldn't even hold a civil conversation without getting mad. "Womanizing prats." she muttered under her breath.

* * *

Lily sighed as she looked at the clock on the wall, it was almost midnight. She was in the astronomy tower trying to finish her essay on moon phases. Done at the last minute, as always. As hard as she tried, she never seemed able to finish something early, without having to wait till the last minute like she always did. In a way it was a lot easier, she somehow worked better and faster under pressure, but she knew she had to change. Procrastinating like she always did, wasn't good and yet it was a part of her, maybe she was just lazy, but it always occurred, it was like breathing, she couldn't help it. Seriously being in the astronomy tower at midnight after an exhausting day was hardly relaxing or good on her nerves. She would most likely fall asleep the next day during class. She looked up to the sky, the moon almost full. The starts twinkling like tiny diamonds spread across a black velvet cloth.

She looked down at her chart, according to her calculations and graphs, the full moon should be tomorrow. For some strange reason a picture of a tiered Remus flashed before her eyes. She shrugged it away, what was wrong with her lately? Falling for her best friend couldn't happen, wouldn't happen, besides it wasn't part of her plans. 'Maybe I just can't plan life like I thought, I have to let it flow it's course.' Something at the back of her mind was bugging her, telling her that she should know something. Her brain mocking her, for it knew and she didn't, it was playing games with her, not letting her reach and find out what it was she was supposed to know. It was nagging her, had she forgot something? Homework she hadn't done? No, that wasn't it. Remus's smile was taunting her, unable to think, she gathered her things and her completed chart and slowly made her way down the spiralling staircase to the Gryffindor's tower. All the while visions of Remus looking tiered and gaunt flashed before her and she couldn't tear her eyes away from her chart, she had to admit the chart was quite handsomely done, thank the lord for bestowing her with artistic hands, but deep down inside she knew that wasn't the reason her eyes wouldn't leave the piece of parchment. She sighed and got into bed, leaving her clothes on and falling into a restless sleep filled with full moons and Remus's handsome face.

* * *

**End of chapter Ten**

**A/N:** I'd like to thank my long time reviewer: TearFromABlueRose, keep up the good work, hope you like this chapter, the good stuff's about to begin. I'm glade you like my last chapter and I'm happy to hear it's in James nature. Lol!

-We're getting closer. Patience, now this chapter was not very good, and your probably wondering why Johnathan Knight was just thrown in, well you'll have to wait and see, Buah-ah-ah-ah! Anyway, remember to leave a review, input, constructive criticism welcome, your favourite part so far? What ever. So review!

**About this chapter:** Lily's really pissed off, wonder what will come from all of these detentions? ::Hint, hint:: She doesn't know Remus is a werewolf...yet. The drama and romance is coming, as you may have noticed, drama: Remus and Lily; Romance: Remus and Lily. Lol! If you catch my drift. I've got so much planned for this story, I just have to get rid of the boring uneventful parts. The action really starts when they start their sixth year, as you may have noticed they are in the end of their fifth (O.W.Ls) year.

**Next:** As I said a chapter or two with the O.W.Ls and after, a chapter or two on their summer, and yes finally the action will begin.

**For all you good readers here's a sneak preview to the next chapter.**

_Hopeless romantics, I'm one of them, I've tried many times to steer from the fairy tale life, but I always seem to go back, just the slightest romanticism will send me head over heals..._

* * *

"_Sirius!" she screeched, "What are you doing? Get out! Get out!" she yelled, clutching for dear life onto her falling towel..._

* * *

_Cleaning the potions class a whole after noon did take it's toll on you, especially if that afternoon happened to be a perfectly sunny Saturday, spent with the marauders..._

* * *

"_Ok listen up everybody!" yelled Peter but to no avail._

"_Oy! You bloody prats! Listen up." yelled Sirius; as soon as he'd said it, the whole common room died off. _

"_Alright." continued Remus, "We, the marauders, are hosting a party this Friday in the great hall, with Dumbledore's consent of course." he said looking at Cora, their school's head girl..._

* * *

"_You sodding, daft, bloke of a git." he said punching him in the stomach..._

* * *

"_Rosie! How are ya darling?" he said kissing the beautiful bartender. _

* * *

"_He totally wants you and you totally want him, odd though you aren't together."_

* * *

"_Oh that's rich! Richer than Potter boy over there."_

* * *

OMG! I totaly love these coloured lignes, I've apparently not been to fanfiction in a while. Well there you have it, and while your waiting for the next chapter, why not check my other stories?

Later,

Josie G. Evans


	12. Annoyed and then some

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

* * *

Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while?

* * *

**"If we could learn from pain even as it grasps us, if the mind, the mind that lives in this body, could refuse to let itself be crushed in the grasp, it would loosen. Pain would have to stand off from me and listen." Adrienne Rich **

* * *

PART ONE

_The beginning_

_Hopeless romantics, I'm one of them, I've tried many times to steer from the fairy tale life, but I always seem to go back, just the slightest romanticism will send me head over heals..._

* * *

"_Sirius!" she screeched, "What are you doing? Get out! Get out!" she yelled, clutching for dear life onto her falling towel..._

* * *

_Cleaning the potions class a whole after noon did take it's toll on you, especially if that afternoon happened to be a perfectly sunny Saturday, spent with the marauders..._

* * *

"_Ok listen up everybody!" yelled Peter but to no avail._

"_Oy! You bloody prats! Listen up." yelled Sirius; as soon as he'd said it, the whole common room died off. _

"_Alright." continued Remus, "We, the marauders, are hosting a party this Friday in the great hall, with Dumbledore's consent of course." he said looking at Cora, their school's head girl..._

* * *

A/N: I know there are more of those previews, but I didn't have enough room to fit them all, so the other one's will appear in the next chapter. Happy reading.- Josie. 

**ch. 11:** Annoyed and then some

Lily sat up in her bed and looked at her clock. It was eight thirty. She looked at it again hoping to have mistaken the time. She swore loudly as she feel out of bed. Running across the room, she managed to slip on a spare sock which caused her to land painfully on her already sore butt.

"Ow!" she moaned, rubbing her back side as she ran to the bathroom. Her red hair was a tangled mess, her green eyes tiered, her face flushed as it always was in the morning, and her normally red lips, were a pale pink.

Lily grabbed a nearby brush and frantically tried to untangle the large mess she had once regarded as her hair. She put it up in a haphazard bun and added a little lipstick. She rubbed her cheeks viciously, trying to bring back the colour in them. She looked down at her crumpled clothes, they were the same she had ended up sleeping in that night. Well they would have to do. Running out of the room, she grabbed her favourite old grey sweatshirt and pulled it over her head, all the while running down a flight of stairs. She couldn't get it over her head, it seemed to have gotten caught in her hair pin. Her foot missed a step and she tripped. She closed her eyes, waiting for the horrible fall, but it never came. A pair of strong arms were holding her tightly. She managed to pull down the sweatshirt only to be meet with a pair of blue eyes.

"You alright?" asked Remus with concern.

"Um. Ya, I'm fine. Thanks for saving me from my impending doom." she said chuckling lightly.

"Glad I was here. Seriously Lily, don't _ever_ do that again. You scared the living shit out of me." he said anxiously.

He was concerned? Lily's heart thumped loudly and she soon realised that she hadn't moved from the comfort of Remus's warm, strong arms.

"What are you doing here anyway?" she asked, slowly walking down the last steps, closely followed by Remus.

"I came looking for you. Beila said she couldn't wake you up, you were sleeping as hard as a brick." he said catching up to her.

"Your gonna be late for class." she said lamely.

"And? I'm glad I came, you could have died."

"Oh Remus! Stop being so melodramatic."

"I'm not! Lily, are you ok? I mean you seem so tiered and..."

"I'm fine." she said cutting him off, "but I won't be if I'm late again for Page's class. Seriously the guy hates me! Not that I'd like him any more if he didn't, but he's just looking for an excuse to diminish my grades and give me detentions." she said, rambling on for a while about how evil he was.

Remus all the while listening to Lily with rapped attention, was also trying to remove the look of concern that had seemed to have pasted it self to his face.

* * *

"But!" protested Lily, "I was at the door, you closed it in my face!" she yelled to her teacher, the class listening with rapped attention. Lily was the only one who dared to stand up to their teacher, and she payed dearly for it.

"You, are late. It's what that little bell , that sounds off before every course, signifies miss Evans. Now please take your seat." he said with a menacing grin.

"It's what I've been trying to do." she responded softly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Hum! That's what I thought. Now please take your seat miss Evans."

Lily looked at him eyes narrowed. In the blink of an eye, her faced calmed, her posture straightened, a slight smile and her head coked to the side, she said in the sweetest voice she could muster, "Of course professor."

Steam seemed to sprout from his ears as he said angrily, "10 points from Gryffindor!"

She slowly made her way to the back of the class where Arabella and Derrick were waiting for her in their usual seats. She knew that to be the only thing that ticked him off, and so the ten points she had lost from Gryffindor were worth it.

"Now career choices..." he started once Lily had sat down.

Arabella looked at her. Lily sensing someone looking in her direction, turned to face Beila.

Beila mouthed a quick sorry and Lily gave her a short nod and a bright smile. She went back to her intense stare, all the while having her head stuck swimming in the clouds and dreaming of a handsome head of thick brown curly locks.

* * *

The day went by slowly, even more sluggish than Page's boring unnecessary class. Honestly she still had two more years before graduation, she didn't need to know what she wanted to do. Besides she already had plans and they involved her in a far off country in a beautiful place like Venice trying to find herself, all the while trying to achieve her dreams of becoming and actor or a writer.

She was sitting on the rug, in front of the fireplace, in the common room, her favourite spot, on what was a typical Friday for her. All of her friends would be off on some romantic date, having the time of their lives, while she, Lily, stayed behind reading one of her favourite books or one of the many her mother sent her. She would also try, without success, to start her homework and get rid of the workload for the weekend.

Just then the portrait swung open violently, waking her from her reverie. James stormed in, soon followed by Clarice.

"James Potter! Don't you walk away from me!" Clarice screeched, which wasn't at all like her naturally excited manner.

That girl got on her nerves so easily. Lily hated everything about her. How she would completely ignore you, even if you were her best friend, if you asked a question or wanted to tell her something. She would only respond if you started getting on her nerves, saying some lame excuse about not hearing or seeing you, even though you were poking her to death. But the thing Lily hated the most about her, was her preppy ways. Lily hated preppies, if that was even a word. Lily hated how she thought she could get anything just because her father was rich, and how she would walk all over people, and how people feared getting her angry just to not have to be a part of her _wrath. _The girl probably couldn't even do a proper spell if he life depended on it. Pure blood, my ass!

"Claire, leave me the fuck alone!" yelled James.

Clarice stood there, looking at him, her eyes blinking dumbly. She apparently had never been spoken to like that. She put her long hair behind her shoulder. The deep brown, a shining gold with flecks of deep red, as the light from the fire landed on it.

Lily stared at them, suppressing a laugh and for the first time in her life, Lily actually liked James, no wait she appreciated him.

"Just leave me alone Clarice." he repeated softly. "And what the hell are you blokes staring at?!" he yelled to the common room. He gave the common room one last glare as he stormed up the boys staircase.

"Oh honey bun!" she said in what she seemed to think a cute voice.

Lily snorted loudly as she ran into a fourth year who had gotten in her way. She quickly got up and ran up the boys staircase as fast as her high heels would let her.

"Hey Lilykins! Whatcha doing here on a Friday night? The stars are bright, the air cool and perfect conditions for a quidditch practice." said Erin Blackeney, sitting down next to her. He was in his seventh and final year at Hogwarts. He had a charming smile and bright green eyes, that reminded Lily of her own, their only resemblance. Lily and Erin were cousins and had always been pretty close, but when Lily had learned she was a witch and that Erin had been going to Hogwarts and was thus wizard, their bond had strengthened. His dark curly hair fell into his eyes, and he had a cute dimple in his right cheek, whenever he smiled. Erin was also the captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team and had since second year, tried to urge Lily into joining the team.

"Erin, you'll have to let it go, besides you know I won't try out till you leave. People will think I only got in because we're related."

"Pixie shit! Quidditch runs in our family Red, it runs through our veins. I've seen you sneaking out in the middle of the night, sneaking a broom ride. It calls to you, doesn't it. You can't keep ignoring it."

"Your so weird Erin. Wait! Have you been spying on me? Oh no, my only weakness, I have been figured out, they're on to me!" she said chuckling. "Besides you know that Potter's on the team and that neither of us can stand the presence of the other."

"Aye! But I also know James wouldn't do anything rational that would jeopardise his chances of wining. I'm recommending you to Dumbledore, I'll know if you tried out, and if you made the team, which you will. Anyone would have to be crazy not to _allow_ you on the team. The matter is closed." he said as Lily opened her mouth to argue. "Besides I have to watch out for my little sister, if I don't who will." he teased. "Now you haven't answered my question. What are you doing here alone on a Friday night."

"I'm not alone."

"You were."

"What's your point?"

"Why aren't you out on a date or hanging out with your friends?"

"Well that's rude."

"Like you aren't." he said laughing as she slugged him on the shoulder.

"I didn't feel like it." she said, thinking the matter close, of course with Erin it was never closed until he said so.

"Ya, and I'm the next minister of magic." he said laughing. "Like that would ever happen."

"Oh my god, did you hear that new song by the sex pistols?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"Um, no. How could you have?"

"Muggle radio!" she said exasperated.

"Ya, but those don't work in Hogwarts."

"They do, if your me."

Erin looked at her with a look of confusion, when all of a sudden someone sat on him, giggling madly.

"Erin hunny, what are you doing talking to this loser?" asked the girl on his lap with a pout.

"Get off of me Seraphina! Don't you dare insult Lily again..."

"Erin, don't, she's not worth your verbal lashing. Besides her brain cells are so few, she probably can't comprehend what your saying."

"Are you calling me dumb?" asked Seraphina from the ground where she had fell when Erin had got up.

"Wow! Would you look at that, her first true sign of intelligence!" she said as Erin laughed. He kept forgetting how Lily wasn't like all the other girl and could take care of herself, not to mention take on almost every guy in the school. The girl had a mighty punch.

"Mother of pearls Red, what would your mother say?" he said as the girl known as Seraphina, stalked off, her face red from embarrassment.

"Lily!" she said shaking a finger in front of Erin's face in a perfect impression of her mother. "That's not very lady like, sarcasm belongs to the dull witted!"

Erin laughed even harder at Lily impersonation of his aunt.

"Well I got to go. Homework, O.W.Ls and stuff. See ya around." she said as she picked up her stuff and left.

* * *

_Dear Journal,_

_Hopeless romantics, I'm one of them...I've tried so often to steer away from the fairytale life, but the more I try, the faster I seem to come back. Just the slightest romanticism will send me head over heals. I think it's why I can never get a date, I seem to be hanging around, waiting for Prince Charming..._

"Hey Lily. You really should have came tonight. We all had a blast."

"Beila, can't you see I'm, busy?"

"Why the hell are you so pissy?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's all good. You know Remus was there." she added as an afterthought, hopping Lily wouldn't see what she was getting at.

"Ok. I'm going to take a shower."

Arabella sighed as Lily left the dorm room.

* * *

Lily decided she would use the prefects bathroom. She felt like being alone for some strange reason. She had become depressed in a matter of seconds and she knew no one would bother her there. She could take a long relaxing bath with candles and raspberry scented bath foam.

"Weeping rose." she said to a statue holding a delicate rose in a hand and the other over his heart. Erin, who was a prefect, would inform her whenever the password changed.

She walked over to the large marble bath, situated in the middle of the large bathroom. The bath was bigger than her old neighbour's pool. She chose the right water temperature and poured raspberry scented bubble bath, into it. Making sure her hair was in a ponytail, she stripped and got into the warm water.

She sighed and let herself slip to the bottom, the smell of raspberries engulfing her.

"Lights." she managed to say. At her command the lights diminished to be replaced by candles. She closed her eyes, forgetting where she was or that she had enough homework to last her a life time and slowly drifted to sleep.

She woke up a couple of minutes later, slowly remembering where she was. She got out of the bath and rapped herself in a large fluffy yellow towel. She was about to put it aside and get dressed when the door flew open and Sirius walked in. He was whistling softly and had apparently not seen her.

He was about to take off his clothes, when he noticed Lily in the corner, a look of pure horror on her face.

"Hey Lilypad, fancy meeting you here. How are ya?" he asked as he took of his tee-shirt, to reveal perfectly moulded muscles that came from year of training.

She suddenly regained her composure. "Sirius!" she screeched, "What are you doing? Get out! Get out!" she said holding on for dear life to her falling towel.

"Why Lils, I'd think you of all people, being smart like you are, would know I'm taking a bath." he said smiling. "You can join me if you want." he added with a wink.

"You bloody prat, get out!" she screamed as she threw his shirt in his face.

She smiled inwardly as she remembered how he left running for his life, when she had lifted her fists.

"I can't even take a bath!" she thought exasperated as she got dressed.

* * *

Lily woke up the next morning to someone dumping a bucket of cold water down her front.

"Bloody, fucking hell!" she cursed as she sat bolt right up.

"Good morning to you too. Tell me, do you kiss your mother with that mouth Evans?" asked James. Wait! James?

"Potter!" she screeched, pulling her bed cover over her now see through shirt. "How the hell did you get up here? Did you take a wrong turn to the bathroom or something? If you hadn't noticed, this is the girl's dorm."

"There are other ways to get up here without having to use that bloody infuriating staircase."

"Is there a reason, besides your twisted fun, that you had to wake me up, not to mention with water? I'm soaked."

"It's Saturday." he simply answered.

"Your point is? I usually sleep in on Saturdays."

"I know, it's why I woke you up."

"You asshole!" she yelled.

"We have detention in ten minutes." he said cutting her off.

"Mother of pearls!" she said getting up and pushing James out of the room and slamming the door in his face.

She quickly got dressed and went down to the common room where James and Sirius were waiting for her.

She saw Beila in corner, sitting on her favourite couch. Lily walked up to her. "Are you aware Potter woke me up? Or even how he got into out dorm?"

"Yes I'm aware, I think the whole of Gryffindor tower is aware." she said laughing, "I thought it'd be funnier if James woke you up, of course I did warm him about the whole having to be ten feet from you when you did, I would never send anyone to wake you up, without warning them."

Every girl in their dormitory, knew not to wake Lily up, unless they fancied a shiner first thing in the morning. Arabella was the only one who dared to wake her up.

"Ya well thanks a lot. A bucket of ice cold water somehow doesn't exactly say good morning."

"Oy! Ridding Hood! Get your arse over here, we got to go." yelled James.

"Didn't you know you had a detention this morning? I tried waking you up, but all I got was a big purple bruise on my leg and a mandatory piss off. Seriously Lily, your violent, if someone tried to rape you while you slept, he'd have a hard time even getting close to the bed."

* * *

She scrubbed an other cauldron as she half listened to James and Sirius's discussion of which girl had the best legs.

Remus on the other hand was having an animated conversation with Peter on which was the best candy from Honeydukes.

"I'm telling you, those new strawberry flavoured fizzing wizbees are the best."

"You, my friend, are in denial, it's the almond and honey chocolate bars."

"Your such a chocoholic..."

"Your both wrong." pipped in Lily. "It's the raspberry sugar quills."

"Well of course you would say that, you raspberry headed freak."

"Stuff it Potter." he shrugged and went back to his own conversation.

She continued to scrub and only stopped when she heard Sirius say her name in a hushed voice.

"I'm telling you mate, she's got these legs! She'd be perfect for shagging, they're long and muscular, but very feminine. A perfect ten, the best legs I've seen."

"And when did you see them?"

"I accidentally walked in on her last night in the prefect bathroom."

"The prefects bathroom? Please do tell how you got in there, better yet, how she got in there."

"That's not the point." James looked at Sirius with a look of disbelief. "Oh common mate, you can 't tell me you haven't checked her out. I mean she does have the best rack in Gryffindor, even you agreed to that one."

Remus noticed Lily listening to James and Sirius's conversation and tried to distract her, knowing they could get out of hand. "So Lily, did you finish that essay on..."

Lily cut him off, by walking up to Sirius and slugging him hard on the shoulder. "You pervert!"

"What?" he asked dumbly.

"Don't what me!"

"I'm sorry?"

"You'll damn right wish you are."

"Hey, carrot top, calm down. You should feel honoured that Padfoot here wants to shag you." said James with his naturally annoying smirk.

She threw the dirty cloth she had used to clean the cauldron in James's face.

"Piss off Potter!" she said as she left the classroom.

* * *

"Hey Beila."

"You finished your detention already?"

"No." she said as she threw herself next to Arabella, who was sitting under a tree finishing her homework.

She breath in the fresh air.

"You alright?" asked Beila.

"Ya." Lily answered.

Cleaning the potions classroom a whole afternoon did take it's toll on you, especially if that afternoon happened to be a perfectly sunny Saturday spent with the Marauders.

"It was awful." she moaned.

"You sure your not just making a big deal of it?"

"What are you saying? That I haven't just went through an exhausting punishment where I had to..."

"No, just that you tend to take things a little out of proportion." she said cutting her off before she started reciting a novel. "You really should start studying, O.W.Ls start Monday."

"Beila, you know I don't study, if I did, I'd be like you, completely freaking out and wondering if I studied a certain thing. Half of the students had to be sent to the hospital wing for calming potions. I don't freak out on something as trivial as this."

"Trivial?! Lily..."

"Save it! I don't study for my other tests, I won't for these. Besides I'm one of the top in our year, do you seriously think I won't do well? I don't need to study, it's the way I am. I study, I freak out, I do bad."

* * *

The week went by pretty uneventful. Lily and Arabella, as well as all of the fifth and seventh years, were in the common room, frantically trying to cram in as much information as possible.

"Arabella, honestly you know the charms manual like the back of your hand, you don't need to study, take a break. Common, challenge you to a game of chess." Lily pestered, looking around her with an amused look, as everyone resembled a bunch of chickens without heads.

"Lily! Piss off!" yelled Beila.

Lily was taken aback by Beila's words. "Fine, what ever, talk to me when you've found your sanity."

"Lily! I...Oh what ever you bloody dolt!"

Lily walked away from Arabella, she had really been wearing herself thin lately, she hoped she'd be alright. Lily was about to go up to her dorm when she spotted Remus lying comfortably on couch, reading a novel.

"Hey cupcake." she said as she threw herself next to him.

"Cupcake?"

She shrugged and asked with the curiosity of a five year old what he was reading.

"This new book my mother sent me. Dark creatures and their origins."

Lily peered over and looked at the chapter title. Werewolves.

"So, I'm guessing your not stressing over the O.W.Ls?"

"Nope, I've studied enough, anymore and my brain might explode." he said putting his book aside to give her his undivided attention.

"Well that would be a shame. Listen Remus, I want to apologise. I haven't been the nicest of people lately and well...I'm sorry."

"Oh don't worry about it Lils, I've grown accustom to you mood swings." he said chuckling.

"Hey!" she protested.

"Lilypad!" exclaimed Sirius as he threw himself on her, hugging all of the oxygen out of her.

"Sirius!" she gasped. "I can't breath." He eased his grip and Lily pushed him to the ground.

"Sod off, you dolt."

"But Lily, you have to save me! Erin is out to get my hide!"

"Then so be it. I'm more than positive, and yes Remus I'm aware only fools are positive, that it was of your doing and you deserve what you get."

"Your so cold."

"And you're a bloody baby."

Just then Erin came running in, with a look of furry.

"Lily!" Sirius and Erin whined.

"What? I'm trying to relax here, why do I always have to fix your problems?"

"Because your good at it."

"Remus, mind taking over this one."

"It's all yours Red."

"Damn you."

* * *

The end of the week was slowly and painfully approaching. Everyone seemed on better terms, and some were actually taking a break from studying.

Lily threw herself onto a couch and at that moment Peter got up on a table.

"Ok listen up everybody!" he yelled but to no avail.

"Oy! You bloody prats! Listen up!" yelled Sirius. The common room instantly died off.

"Alright." took up Remus, "We, that is the Marauders, are hosting a party this Saturday in the great hall to celebrate the end of the exams. With Dumbledore's consent of course." he said as Cora, their school's head girl got up, most likely to argue on how unconcented parties weren't aloud and what not.

"That is all, thank you!"

Remus plopped down on the couch next to Lily. She turned her head to face him, only to jump up as she saw how close his face was to hers.

"You handled that well." she commentated.

"It's what I do."

She laughed. "So this dance, is it? Are you recommended to bring someone?"

"If you don't want to end up looking like a social outcast." he said with a chuckle.

"Right. So Mr. The host, who are you planning on bringing?"

"I have an idea."

"Oh common, do tell."

"No."

"Why not? Common, tell me. You can't just say something like that and then drop the subject." she said, inwardly thinking about how she wished it was her.

"Yes I can."

"No, you know I won't stop asking till you do."

"I'm able to live with that, Mrs. Curiosity."

"It's my middle name. Tell me!"

"Nope." he said, his eyes full of mirth. "Want to go for a walk? I could use the exercise."

"No you don't, how about a broom race instead? And don't you think you can change the subject that easily."

"Damn!" he said as he went to his dorm room to get his cloak and broom, as Lily did the same.

* * *

The wind whipped her hair this way and that, making it hard for her to see where she was going. She tied her hair up and speed off to the other end of the pitch where Remus was waiting for her. A shiver of excitement ran through her body.

"You alright? Are you cold? Want to go back inside? This isn't a good idea, we can come back some other time, like during the day, when there's sunlight. "

Lily stared at Remus, her mouth open, why was he acting so strange?

"Will you calm down mother hen? Jesh! You've turned worst then Beila."

"I was just worried. I don't want you to get sick." he said as he got closer and gently rubbed her cheek.

"I'll be fine." she said as she swallowed down a lump forming in her throat. She hated how everyone seemed to be looking out for her lately, but she liked it coming from Remus. Her heart beat increased as he got closer, looking into her eyes with compassion and concern. She longed to run her hand through his curly brown locks. The wind teasing her, as a single curl fell to his forehead, blocking one of his gorgeous blue eyes. She brushed it away with her hand were it stayed for a while longer, taking in the warmth of his skin.

He was leaning in to kiss her gorgeously plump lips, to take her for his own, when an owl swooped between them and landed on Lily's broom handle.

"Snow! What ware you doing here?" she asked her white and black owl. She then noticed an envelope attached to his leg. She tore it open and quickly read it.

"It's my mom." she said, answering the unasked question. "Petunia and Anne were getting home from school when this car lost control and hit Anne. She's in the hospital, doctor's think she might be paralysed from the waist down...for life." she said as a sob escaped her lips, those beautiful lips Remus had been about to kiss.

She held back her tears. Her little sister would never be able to walk again, or run, or play sports. She had been stripped of the normal childhood that every child was entitled to.

She was so lost in thought, she didn't even realise Remus embracing her in a comfortable hug, as if trying to make every bad thing leave her. Suddenly nothing seemed important, not the grades to her O.W.Ls or her evil teachers, or having to travel the world. She didn't even noticed how perfectly their bodies felt together, nor the salty tears fall down on her face, as the cold wind viciously stung her face.

**

* * *

**

End of chapter eleven

**A/N:** So this was an extra long chapter, given to you all as an early Christmas present. As said at the beginning the rest of those previews will appear in the next chapter. I know this chapter was kinda crappy, but I was having a hard time with it, for some strange reason. Thanks to all my reviewers: lilyred-07 (Glad you liked it. Hope you like this one. Keep reviewing, you rock!) and of course to my ever best reviewer: TearFromABlueRose (I'm so happy you liked the previews, I left a couple of new ones at the bottom. Merry Christmas and keep up the good work. Hope it's to your satisfaction and great updates!)

**About this chapter:** Wow! Who could have seen that one coming? Not me, Lol! I know, I know, but it was too soon for them to kiss, besides this is the beginning of the promised angst. No, this is not a Remus/Lily fic, but I like them together, but that will change due time. Erin Blackeney will appear in either future chapters or sequel, if I decide to make one. Very long chapter, more to happen next chapter. Lots to take in. I personally like the bathroom scene best and the ending before the owl arrives. I never really planned to make Anne paralysed, it was all my evil keyboard's fault, sue him or it. Lily is actually a very complex person, even though she doesn't show it, she's also not a very emotional person.

**Next:** Only two to three chapters left before the real action starts.

**For all you good readers, here's the rest of the promised sneak previews to appear in the next chapter.**

"_You sodding, daft, bloke of a git." he said punching him in the stomach..._

* * *

"_Rosie! How are ya darling?" he said kissing the beautiful bartender. _

* * *

"_He totally wants you and you totally want him, odd though you aren't together."_

* * *

"_Oh that's rich! Richer than Potter boy over there."_

* * *

"_Lily would you like to go to the party with me?" he asked hopefully. _

* * *

"_I'm not going."_

"_What? Lily stop doing this! Your going and that's final. Anne's not dead, she'll be fine, and she'd want you to have fun."_

"_Don't you dare talk about her like that!"..._

* * *

Merry Christmas! And to everyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas, have a happy Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Solstice, or whatever other holiday you celebrate. And a happy new year!

I will update whenever possible.

Cheerio,

Santa Josie, _bringing pranks and trouble to kids everywhere._

**Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. **

**-National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. **


	13. Midnight escapades

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

* * *

Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured soul in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while?

* * *

_Love is not only something you feel. It is something you do._ **-David Wilkerson**

* * *

**_warning:_** this story (or rather chapter) has sexual contents and swearing. Not intended for a younger audience, I mean reader. Thank you and you've been warned Buah-ha-ha-ha-ha 'cough''cough' um...right. Daytime drama at it's finest!

PART ONE

_The beginning_

A/N: So sorry for the disaster of a chapter I gave you guys. So I re-wrote it. COMPLETELY redone. Enjoy-Josie

**Ch.12:** Midnight escapades

Lily's eyes felt heavy; they were closed and she was so tiered, but the confusion of what had just happened was at the back of her head, and made it impossible for her to fall asleep. She felt strange, as if she were floating or her head had somehow gotten extremely light and was hovering above her body. A soft natural cologne reached her nostrils from where her head was lying. It smelt like trees and grass when ever you cut it after a rainy day; there was even a distinguishable smell of apples. She was in heaven and she never wanted to move or wake up. She felt as if someone had slowly put her down with the uttermost care, holding her in their soft arms which smelled of that wonderful aroma. She was cold and slightly shivered under the light touch. Clouds were softly caressing her, whispering in her ears and planting soft kisses on her head. She reached in to the source of warmth, enveloping herself in it's folds. And ever so slowly, the tiny source of light to her right extinguished itself and the sounds of the night engulfed her, as she slowly let the weariness win and fell asleep.

* * *

Arabella woke up with a start, breathing heavily she slowly sat up in bed and held her head up. She got up, wincing at the cold wooden boards beneath her feet, she walked over to the water pitcher and pored herself a glass. She looked around the room, trying to remember what had woken her up in the first place. She looked over to the tinny clock on her bedside table. It was two o'clock in the morning. She then noticed Lily's unclosed curtains. She walked over, thinking that Lily had probably been to lazy or had forgotten to close them in her fatigue. She saw a large lump under the blankets, satisfied she was about to turn around and go back to bed when she noticed that Lily didn't seem to be breathing. Panicking, she quickly tore away the blankets. What meat her gaze wasn't at all what she had been expecting. It was Lily's pyjamas from the previous night and a couple of books and her school bag. The house elves must have done her bed over the stuff she had lain over it.

Their dorm room always looked like a mess, you'd think guys lived there if it wasn't for the various pink articles, clothing, makeup and bras littering the floor. Lily was the only girl in their dorm who never bothered to do her bed, but if she did, it was always at the last second before she went to bed that night; she procrastinating at every possible thing without even noticing.

'Where could that girl be at this time of night?' Beila silently thought. Lily never stayed out pass midnight on a weekday, even if it was against the rules.

Arabella walked to the other end of the room in search of her slippers. The mess and the lack of light didn't make her job easier; she found them under an old box of honeydukes finest, which most likely had belonged to Lydia, one of James many ex's.

She silently left the room, tripping on a bra on the way out, which only caused Jeanne to snore loudly as she turned onto her side. 'Ouff! That was close.' she thought, making her way down the many stairs. She didn't dare to put on a light incase she accidentally woke someone up, so she used the rail as her guide as she went down the stairs.

The little light coming from the fireplace was enough for her to see where she was going. She went over to Lily's favourite couch, knowing all to well her odd habits. But it seemed as if Lily hadn't had the sudden urge to move to the couch that night, as the sofa was void of persons.

She really had no idea where Lily could have gone off to. She wrapped her cloak around her more securely and went out of the portrait hole. Maybe she had feel asleep in the astronomy tower again. Arabella remembered all to well the last time she had done this. It was back in their third year. Lily had stayed in the astronomy tower after hours trying to finish her homework. The next day, Arabella hadn't seen hide nor hair of her brightly energetic friend and had thus went to the astronomy tower after her second class only to find Lily fast asleep, her head on the table with a small puddle of drool flowing from her mouth. A bunch of first graders were poking her, silently laughing amongst themselves as she snorted or moved her hand in the air to swat away the stick.

As she went up the stairs leading to the astronomy tower, a cold jet of air engulfed her, and her teeth starting chattering. She hoped that Lily wasn't up there or she would die of hypothermia before the morning had even come. As she got to the last step, the door was slight ajar, she pushed it completely open and realised that it was quite warm. She then found an even stranger sight. One which she hadn't been expecting.

* * *

Clarice silently got out of bed, she looked at the clock; it was two in the morning. 'Perfect,' she thought, 'everyone should be asleep by now.' she thought with a strange smile creeping onto her face.

She walked out of her dorm room. She liked being in a single room, not everyone was entitled to them, but back in her first year (and even now) she hadn't wanted to share a room with anyone, and she wasn't going to. So Dumbledore had made special arrangements for her. She even had house elves come once a day to clean up the mess she did in the morning whenever she tried getting ready. She also had breakfast in bed every morning, served to her on a golden platter, just like when she was at home.

She went down the stairs and looked around the common room. If a passer by had been watching her, he would have thought she was looking around for something, like a lost earing. But she was in fact making sure no one was in the common room to see what she was about to do. She walked over to the end of the room, satisfied that the annoying redhead bitch Evans, hadn't decided to sleep in the common room that night. She was about to go up the boys staircase when she heard a door open.

She rushed over to the couch she had just been examining and quickly dodged down next to it, making sure that she was completely covered in shadows.

That's when she saw Evans's just as annoying best friend come down the girl's staircase. She held her breath as the girl came closer, most likely to see if Evans was sleeping on the couch. She looked around worriedly. 'Ah! So Evans is missing, is she!' she silently thought, smiling at the fact. Arabella looked as if she was about to sit down on the couch and Claire's smile faded. She didn't want to be found, because the harassing girl would most likely ask questions and then she would have to explain to that idiot of a girl why she was out of bed so late; it would seem quite odd seeing as how she was crouched in a dark area behind a sofa wearing nothing but very slutty undergarments. To be more precise she was wearing a nighty that showed off more then 3/4 of her body.

But as always, she got what she wanted. The idiot turned around and left the common room. Clarice silently waited and heard the portrait close. Waiting a couple of minutes and making sure that once again she was alone, she crept out of her hiding place and quietly went up the boys staircase, 'Honestly,' she thought, 'I was practically reduced to a mouse in hiding.'

She opened the fourth door on the fifth flight of stairs and tiptoed to the second bed at the far end. She opened the curtains and crawled into the bed. "Hey sweety." she quietly whispered in the boy's ear. The boy slowly opened his dreary eyes and sat up when he saw Clarice. "Hey Claire, what are you doing here?" he asked confused, "It isn't my birthday is it?" he asked with his trademark mischievous grin.

She refrained from screaming. "Sirius! What are you doing in James's bed?" she asked her voice now clearly hysterical.

"We were playing a game," he said, not bothering to cover up his delight. "Maybe I should sleep in James's bed more often, especially if he gets woken up in the middle of the night to see you like that." he said, now noticing what she was wearing.

"Sirius, I'm betroth." she said, clearly delighted that Sirius was interested in her. Sirius was very handsome and being as he wasn't wearing a shirt, she noticed how much more muscular he was compared to James. She had maybe came here to find James, but she had found something better. He slowly and passionately kissed her neck as he placed himself on top of her and slowly moved his mouth to find hers. Neither even thinking of James or the fact that they were in his bed; the thought that they could wake up the others with their orgasmic screams of delight only made it that more dangerous...and exciting.

As he slowly lifted her nightgown off her head, a large smile crept up on both their faces. 'This was definitely worth it.' she thought.

* * *

Derrick woke up, sweating and pale. He was very nervous about the upcoming exam which happened to take place later that day and hadn't been sleeping well all night. He looked over at his clock only to find that it was two thirty in the morning. Knowing he wouldn't be able to get more sleep because of the constant nagging at the back of his head, he walked over to his desk and took out a bottle. He shook it slightly, and he heard the sloshing inside; he opened the cap and drowned what was left in a large swig. Feeling better, he made a mental note to owl his uncle for an other emergency stash. He put the bottle back and went to the bathroom and adjusted the water in the shower. He stripped down and got into it, looking down at the large gash on his stomach where the scaring was still fresh from the previous summer.

He hadn't told anyone what had happened and had somehow been able to conceal the deep gash from his mother that whole summer. He still couldn't believe what he had done and thanked god every day for gifting him with the ability to do memory charms. But he still had to live with the blurred memory of his sister crying and pleading with him to stop. Grabbing the closest thing next to her, which had been a broken brandy bottle she...

He silently cried, unable to bear himself. He slid down the shower door and sat there, at the bottom of the shower, in a drunken daze as his tears and the water, mixed together.

* * *

Erin was quietly sleeping, enjoying a blissful dream, when he heard someone walking outside his door. He groggily got up and walked over to the door, he opened it but only caught the hem of a short night gown turn the corner.

'Great!' he thought, 'some whore decides she wants to have fun tonight and she has to wake up the whole castle doing it.'

Erin had always been a light sleeper and even the smallest of noises woke him up. He went over to his bedside table and took out a fag and a match from a tiny box. He opened the balcony door and went outside where he lit up his smoke.

He liked being in his seventh year, they had better rooms then everyone else. He could go outside, without having to sneak out of the tower and wake up his roommates, he could sit out here on the tiny balcony over looking the great lake and watch the stars whenever he was feeling depressed or needed time and privacy to think. Truth be told he didn't want to leave, and the end of the semester was so close, only two weeks from now. He loved Hogwarts, it was his home away from home, and it was much better than his real one. His father was always complaining about how he would never amount to anything even though he had the highest average in the school, he was also head boy and captain to the Gryffindor's quidditch team. He had achieved so much, but his father was a medi-wizard and like all cliché father/doctor stories, his father wanted him to follow in his footsteps. He hated it, his older brother Jamie had already became everything his father wanted him to be, why did he also have to be sucked in? Truth be told he had always been a free spirit and had wanted to join the OQL (Official Quidditch League) since the age of seven.

He didn't want to leave Lily behind. She was pretty much alone, and she would probably suffocate without him. Then again, Lily had always been a pretty independent person, but he didn't know who he could trust to keep an eye on her when he left. He wanted her to be taken care off, she was like a sister to him. He knew she would kill him if she knew he had asked someone to watch over her, but it was a risk he was willing to take. Maybe he could ask Remus. He had never trusted Derrick, people who were that quiet and would do anything to fit in, always had something to hide.

Erin often blamed himself for the way Lily acted, she looked up to him, he was her idol. He was the older sibling or brother she had never had. When they were younger, he was always at his aunt's house playing with Lily, his best friend. She might have been a girl, but back then you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference, much to his aunt's annoyance.

They would often roll around in the mud, fighting, punching and kicking each other; if Lily didn't win, it was because his aunt had noticed what was going on and would pull them apart, holding them by their ears.

"You stubborn cocks! What do you think your doing? And why Blackeney are you hitting your little cousin? Don't you know she's a girl? Hasn't your mother ever taught you to never hit a lady?"

"I ain't no lady!" Lily would protest, "I'm a knight of the round table, I go by the name of Sir Gawain!"

"Enough of your blabbering, imagination does not belong to a young lady. You must satisfy your husband and cook his meals and clean his clothes. You must stop daydreaming Lily! Come I will give you a bath and try and fix that unruly hair of yours."

His aunt would always say the same thing. He pitted Lily really, having to live with a mother who told her everyday what she should be doing and thinking instead of loving and nurturing her. Of course Lily always was stubborn and had never really listened much to her mother's rants. Her father on the other hand was a warm and generous person, who loved Lily more than life itself. He was the one who read to her all those fairytales and talked to her about lands of magic and fairies and of king Arthur and his knights. She had always been enthralled by those things, and when she had learned that she was a witch, it had been the happiest day of her life.

Erin still ruffled Lily up, but he didn't go rolling in the mud punching her anymore. He would laugh and say cockily: "You'll have to eat more of those green vegetables if you want to beat me." even though she probably still could.

They would still occasionally rough play, most often in front of his Aunt whom Lily loved to piss off. Lily had always hated being called a lady, and she hated her mother's way of thinking.

An other reason Erin didn't want to leave Hogwarts was that once school was over, he didn't have plans like Lily who strangely enough also thought that things would simply just find their way to her, like her Hogwarts letter.

He took a long drag of his fag, trying to form shapes with the smoke. He put it out and silently crept back into bed.

* * *

Remus loved sleeping under the stars in the fresh night air. Tonight was a perfect night, there were plenty of stars and the temperature was ideal, not to hot or cold. He spotted the 'Big Dipper' amongst the many stars, and sadly thought about how Pollux had loved stargazing. The crickets chirped around him and a wolf howled in the distance. He smiled to himself; it seemed the wolf couldn't find his wife.

'Wild little vixen she is.' he thought silently knowing the she-wolf was probably off strolling with an other wolf from the same tribe.

The sent of raspberries filled the air and he smiled at the angel in his arms as she delicately moved to make herself more comfortable. He felt a little pang of joy as the angel smiled in her unperturbed dreams. The only place where one could free themselves and leave this sometimes horrible place, but then again there was always night mares and the land of dreams that could change a lovely place created by one's imagination.

The angel quietly moaned as he ran his fingers through her hair. He smiled and kissed her dark shoulder length hair.

He concluded that this was indeed... a perfect night.

* * *

**End of Chapter Twelve**

A/N: So much better than the chapter I had previously posted. I like this one way better. So if you haven't read the old one- which I replaced by this one and would like to compare it, (I don't know why you would, but just in case) you can find it at the following link: . Well, it certainly looks like the entire population of Hogwarts is sneaking around after hours. Naughty little Gryffindors.

About this chapter: I know Clarice is evil and all, but I couldn't make her a Slytherin. Besides it fit better with the story if she was a Gryffindor, so frankly that's the only way she got in. Let's just pretend she payed or black mailed the sorting hat. I also realised that in the last chapter I said that Clarice had (and I quote):_ She put her long hair behind her shoulder. The deep brown, a shining gold with flecks of deep red, as the light from the fire landed on it._ She actually has shoulder length BLONDE hair. I quote once more: _I have long blonde hair and green eyes and no apparent freckles on my face_... It's in the sixth chapter. Anyway, I noticed afterwards and I was like: OMG!

For those of you who don't know, a fag is a cigarette in England.

I also noticed how much more 'sexual' this one was and I don't know what over took my imagination, but this is what came out of it. It's funny because most of what happened that night, will have a big effect on the chapter or chapters to come. And a lot more on Derrick to come, I'm now loving his character. At the beginning I though it was too flaky, you know, a guy who really wants to be accepted...blah, blah, blah. It's more in depth now and more human, but you'll see. Grins evilly

**Thanks:**

**_Kel:_** Sorry this is the same chapter you reviewed already, but there was problems with my server so I had to post it again. Thanks a lot for your review, greatly appreciated. I'm glad you liked it. Sorry if it confused you, but stay tuned and all shall be revealed lol!****

Seren Lunar Echo: Thanks so much, your review actually made me feel better about my flop one. I hope you like the remake of it.

Me: First off thanks for the whole 'soul' thing, I hadn't even realized! Lol! Secondly, James is a guy, all my guy friends think there are only 8 colours, so I figured he wouldn't know the difference either. Third, I heard somewhere that with excess stress your hair can prematurely turn gray, freaky huh! Thanks a lot for the review though! Greatly appreciated.

QuieroTuAmor: You understand me so well, sniff, sniff! I love your reviews. I hope you liked this one and I really love your new name. I'm taking Spanish this year! Ya, it rocks! You rock! I'm glad you like the previews!

Kel: Thanks a lot for the review, hope you like the remake!

UPDATE: I did! See I did! YAH!

* * *

**Next:**

"_You sodding, daft, bloke of a git." he said punching him in the stomach..._

* * *

"_Rosie! How are ya darling?" he said kissing the beautiful bartender. _

* * *

"_He totally wants you and you totally want him, odd though you aren't together."_

* * *

"_Oh that's rich! Richer than Potter boy over there."_

* * *

"_Lily would you like to go to the party with me?" he asked hopefully. _

* * *

"_I'm not going."_

"_What? Lily stop doing this! Your going and that's final. Anne's not dead, she'll be fine, and she'd want you to have fun."_

"_Don't you dare talk about her like that!"..._

* * *

Later,

Josie


	14. Questions answered?

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured sole in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while?

* * *

_Love is not only something you feel. It is something you do._ **-David Wilkerson**

* * *

IMPORTANT: if you haven't read the previous chapter (which has been completely redone) you won't understand this one.

PART ONE

_The beginning_

**Ch. 13:** Questions answered ?

"Wake up damn it! Jesh Sirius, were you up all night or something?" an aggravated Frank said as he unceremoniously ripped the blankets off of Sirius.

"You have no idea." he answered, recoiling from the sudden coldness of the room.

"Couldn't sleep?" Frank questioned, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Something like that." Sirius replied with his trade mark mischievous grin; the same grin which had been known to scare many people as they did not know what was hiding behind it.

"Well, common then, breakfast is starting and we have an other exam this morning before we can be scotch free!"

* * *

Arabella went down to breakfast that morning looking like hell itself. After her little escapade she had been unable to fall back asleep but had instead stayed up all night waiting for Lily to come back.

She distractedly munched on a piece of toast, the events of the previous night fresh in her mind's eye.

She had opened the door to the astronomy tower, hard on finding Lily. She realised how much warmer it was in the room than the cold harsh stairs. She looked across the room and gasped. Instead of finding Lily, she was meet with an even stranger discovery.

A black greasy head hung over a table as he stirred a boiling cauldron, the vile odour reaching her nostrils.

"Snape? What the hell are you doing?" she asked disbelief crossing her face.

He quickly jumped up at the intrusion, reeling back in fear. "Oh, it's just you." he answered with a sneer. "What do you want? I'm a little busy." he added impatiently.

"Um right, sorry to have bothered you." she said backing away and back towards the door. "Oh, actually have you seen Lily?"

"Why would I care about the damned mudblood?"

"Right." she had said, quickly fleeing the tower.

The question of what Snape had been doing nagged at her almost more than Lily's disappearance. She felt someone's eyes upon her back. Turning around to investigate, her gaze landed across the hall on the Slyterin's table were Snape was looking at her dangerously, a sneer on his thin lips.

"Hey Milly Venilly, whoa! The hell happened to you? Did you get attacked by a wild ferocious bear last night or something?"

"Funny Derrick, real funny." she answered tearing her eyes away from Snape's dangerously hypnotic ones. She hopped Snape wouldn't take her intrusion seriously, she frankly didn't want to end up almost dying because of one of his nasty potions. The guy was more than dangerous and she wondered how the Marauders could dare to sleep or even eat with that git around, looking down his long crooked nose as they went about their day.

"Where's Lily?" Derrick suddenly asked, noticing the absence of their friend. "She isn't sleeping is she?" he asked as the bell announcing the beginning of breakfast rang loudly and the great hall slowly started to fill up with more early risers.

"Honestly, how can she sleep with that bell ringing off at all times."

"Actually, I don't know where she is and I hope she isn't off sleeping somewhere in the castle because we have our charms essay today and she can't miss it unless she wants to deliberately fail charms and have to take an extra year of it." muttered Arabella, taking a large swig of milk.

"Are you alright Derrick? You don't look so good yourself?" she asked after closely examining his tiered eyes and pale complexion.

"What? Oh ya I'm fine. Just lost a lot of sleep last night on this stupid exam. Thank God this is the last one."

"Ya, I totally agree. I'm really worried about Lily thought. I kinda lashed out at her last night. She was trying to make me relax by distracting me and I told her to piss off. I was on my last nerves but it was no reason for me to act like a total ass."

"Beila, don't worry about it, I'm more than sure Lily understands. She knew you were under a lot of stress, she was just worried, is all." he answered filling his plate to the brim with food.

"Derrick if you keep eating that much you'll get fat."

"No I won't, I'm a growing boy, I need all the food I can get." he simply answered.

"Man." she murmured under her breath.

"So, do you have a date for Saturday's party?" he asked innocently.

"No, not yet. But I'm confidant someone will ask me." she said a large smile on her lips.

Derrick opened his mouth to ask her something when Sirius plonked down on a chair next to Arabella and started to chat with her. Derrick sighed as he started to fill his emptied stomach.

* * *

The clock tower rang eight times, signalling the start of breakfast. Lily reluctantly opened her eyes only to close them just as fast. A stream of light fell on her closed lids. 'Great,' she thought, 'I forgot to close my bloody curtains again.'

She didn't want to wake up. Maybe she could skip her first class and sleep in; she felt so comfortable and warm. She didn't want to get out of bed. 'What do I have this morning?' she asked herself, trying to figure out if it was worth missing. 'Damn it all to hell! I have my charms essay this morning.' she thought, suddenly remembering the last of her exams. After this one, she would be scotch free.

'Ooh, the party,' she thought aloud, 'I wonder if Remus will ask me. Remus, no! Bad Lily, bad! Not your best mate. Bad experiences with that remember, you don' t want to have to go through it all again. You're pathetic, always looking at Potter when he isn't looking, trying to see what you had seen in him and trying to determine what he thinks of you now. God, this has got to stop! Oh holly mother of pearls! Charms!'

Turning onto her side to try and wake herself up, she moved closer to the source of warmth on her left.

She was to sleepy to even move and so she let her head gently rise and fall as the large object inhaled and exhaled. The sound of a beating heart reached her ears and a hand was slowly running through her hair.

Frightened, as realisation finally hit her, she tried to get up. Whoever had snuck into her bed had a firm grip on her. The strong arms wouldn't relieve it's captive and she started to panic, wriggling madly like an earth worm.

'Oh my God,' she thought, 'what if it's some crazy psychopath whose planning on raping me and then slowly kill me by cutting off my limbs! What if he's a crazy axe murderer who escaped from a nearby asylum!'

Wild thoughts raced through her mind, each one crazier than the last. One of her captive's hands moved to her hips, securing her and bringing her closer to him. She couldn't move at all. There was something familiar with the embrace but she was too frightened to register it. The smell of apples and grass reached her nostrils; the smells of nature and spring time.

Struggling with her captive she somehow managed to move slightly. How she had mistaken a living, breathing body for her blankets, she couldn't figure. Whoever her captive was, he had an iron grip. As she tried to move he brought her closer, her body lying spoon shaped into his body. As was normal for every man in the morning, she felt him 'move' as he breath heavily into her ear, his excitement becoming clearer with every minute. Panicking, she dislodged her arm from the hold and smartly elbowed him in his bare chest. It didn't seem to have the desired effect, but he did however, slightly release his grip.

His grip more lax, she managed to turn around and see the face of her captive. He had a slight smile tugging at his lips and fringes of his dark hair fell into his face.

Somewhere off, the customary ten minute bell rang loudly. He slightly opened his eyes at the sound, only to be met by Lily's slightly aggravated green eyes.

"As much as I'd _love_ to stay here all day, I do have a charm's exam to attend to." she said.

His cheeks slightly pinked from embracement as he noticed his strong hold on her. He reluctedly let go and yawned.

She hastily got up and found herself momentarily unbalanced by the sudden harsh movement; she tripped over a cloak lying forgotten on the ground. He got up, revealing his tall graceful body and muscular frame as he stretched his limbs. His delicately etched features reminded Lily of a statue of a Greek god she had seen in a museum a long time ago.

"Sleep well?" asked the curly brown head, locks of hair falling into it's face. "I know I did." it continued at her silence, a charming half smile growing onto it's lips.

Lily looked at the hard ground confused. She couldn't remember how she had gotten to find herself in a slight clearing close to the edge of the forbidden forest. Had she spent the whole night lying there on the hard grass, lying in Remus's warm embrace?

She looked at the cloaks littering the floor and her broomstick lying a couple of yards away. Many questions railed into her head at once, so much so that she didn't know where to start.

"What happened?" she asked perplexed staring at Remus's discarded shirt laying at her feet.

He bent down to pick it up. Pulling it over his head, he swore as his earing got caught in the material. "Well, it's pretty self-explanatory." he said, with a strange half smile as he finally got the earing out.

"What!" she said freaking out. Was Remus implying what she thought he was! Never! Vulnerable or not, she would never violate a promise she had made to God many years ago.

Being but twelve she had learnt about a thing called 'intercourse' and had thus sworn to stay a virgin till she married, as was said in the bible. She would never have broken her oath and yet she couldn't remember what had happened. Had Remus taken advantage of her?

Seeing the panicked look on her face, he quickly reassured her as he put his pants over his boxers. "Lily relax, it's a joke. I was only trying to lighten up the mood." he said, grabbing the rest of his cloths which were all crippled due to their sleeping. Grabbing his cloak, which they had used as a blanket, he looked her square in the face. "Honest Lils."

"Well it's not funny! What the hell is your problem? No, don't talk." she said angrily as he opened his mouth to speak. "I've heard enough from you." she said, as she in return grabbed her cloak and broom and walked away huffily.

"Lily! Wait! I only meant..."

"No! You know what Remus, you've done enough." she said, turning around and walking away.

She briskly wiped the tears that were forming in her eyes. What was wrong with her? All she seemed able to do lately was cry and yell.

Her thoughts moment went to the letter her mother had sent her, and she prayed that Anne would be alright. Sure, Anne got on her nerves more than Potter did, but that didn't mean she didn't love her.

The one thing Lily hated more than anything else, where preppies and Anne coincidentally was one. Anne was ten years of age and was already worrying about her weight. She always had an article of pink on, Lily's least favourite colour, and pranced around the house acting as annoying as Boy George would sound singing rock.

Her mother's ways had gotten to Anne which gave Lily an other reason to detest her. But try as she might, Lily couldn't hate her. Maybe it was because she was her sister, or maybe she liked that Anne looked up to her, which she often found annoying.

Lily had always tried really hard for Anne to have her own personality as she was constantly copying her drawings, something she despised beyond words, and that everyone seemed to always give her everything. Anne was the youngest in the family and had never experienced the hardships of cruel children like Lily had. It was one of the reasons why Lily always picked on her and gave her a hard time; she wanted Anne to learn that she couldn't always get what she wanted and that life wasn't like peach cobbler. Besides, most of Lily's problems had been because of Anne. Lily always put it aside though, unless the little tyke got on her nerves with either repeating her funny imitations over and over again or even by knocking on her door as hard as her little muscles would let her, until the broken doorknob finally fell.

She surly walked to the castle, quickening her pace as she realised she had less than three minutes to get to the great hall for the charm's exam.

* * *

Lily looked down at her crumpled clothes as she entered the great hall. She had slept in them all night and hadn't had the time to go to her dorm room to change before the start of the exam.

Sitting down at her assigned seat, she waited patiently as the teacher passed the scrolls and quills. After this, there would be a brief test where she would have to demonstrate a charm chosen by the examiner.

Quickly reading over the questions, she set herself to the boring task of filling out the questions.

* * *

"Lily!"

"Oh, hey Beila. How'd your charm exam go?" Lily asked, walking towards the Gryffindor tower for a quick refresh.

"Pretty well, I think I got most of the questions right and I did really good on my charm. I had Mr. Scrocth thought, he's tough. You?"

"Oh, I think I did good."

"Lily, listen, I'm really sorry for having snapped at you last night. You're my best friend and I know you were only trying to help, I had no reason to bitch at you."

"No worries." she said giving her a quick hug and a bright smile."

"Lily, were the hell were you last night?" Beila suddenly asked, as she noticed the dark circles underneath her eyes.

"Um, I was..."

"Hey Lily! Finished your exam? How'd you do Red?"

Lily had never been happier to see Erin in her life. "Oh, pretty good." she answered as he swung his arm over her shoulder and the other over Arabella who slightly blushed under the touch of Lily's attractive cousin.

"What about you Arb?"

"Erin," she said exasperated, "I told you to stop calling me that. But all in all, I did fairly well myself." she said proudly.

"Awesome! So Lils, is anyone taking you to the party tomorrow?"

"You're so thick Erin."

"What, just curious."

"No, you mean: I just want to know who he is and then interrogate him to tears and make sure he never speaks to you again so that you can spend the rest of your life alone."

"Common Lil, that was just once." he said with large puppy dog eyes.

"Oh knock off it, you know that doesn't work on me. And for your information Alex hasn't spoken to me since, which was two years ago."

"I said I was sorry. I mean common I bought you four pounds of candy for Christ's sake. Besides I didn't make John cry, Alex was just a whimp, you don't need him. Hey, what are you doing with your broom?" he asked suddenly noticing the broom handle she had clutched in her right hand.

"What! Oh this, I just went out for a quick ride this morning, clear my thoughts. I didn't have enough time to go bring it back to my dorm before the exam."

"I see, well see you ladies around, I gotta go." he said going to great his friend at the end of the hall.

"Lily?" asked Arabella gingerly.

"Hum?"

"Where were you last night?" she asked again, "You didn't go to the dorm at all since seven last night, which was when you went up to get your broom for a ride with Remus. Which is why you have your broom now. I know because I was up all night waiting for you."

"Arabella, you've got to stop worrying about me, I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself you know."

"Oh, I know, I just want to know what you and Remus got up to last night, which would leave you with twigs in your hair." she said as she took one out.

Lily suddenly blushed almost to the point of looking like a tomato when the devil himself appeared by her side.

"Speak of the devil." Arabella murmured as if reading Lily's thoughts.

"Hey Lily." he said cautiously.

"Hey."

"So...exams are finally over, what a load off eh?" he asked. Lily nodded to his question looking him square in the face.

"Ya so...hey, big party tomorrow, remember? The one we marauders are hosting? We chordally invite both of you sensual young doves to attend. Of course dates are mandatory."

"Oh, well me and Beila were planning on going together, as a social outcast friend thing."

"Um, about that Lily."

"What? Are you bailing out on me?"

"Well, I got asked out this morning and my damned heart spoke faster than my brain could register."

"So what, I'm to go alone? Common Beila, you can't do this to me. A guy is more important to you than our..."

She was cut short as Arabella muttered something in her ear. Lily's eyes grew big with excitement and she looked at her friend with joy etched in her features. "Really?" she asked, "oh my God, I'm so happy for you!"

"Ya, he asked me this morning over breakfast, I was totally not expecting it, it was totally out of the blue!"

"Um, hello girls." Remus said shyly as he cut their conversation. "Well then Lily, if you have no one to go out with, maybe we could go together." he asked hopefully

"Go to the party with you?".

"Well jesh Lily, you're saying it like it the worst prospect on earth." Beila said modestly.

"Um, I'll think about it...I ...I have to go do this thing...you know. So...see ya." Lily said hurriedly as she left.

'Well that was a bad performance on her part. She must have been nervous to be lying so badly.' Arabella thought, as she watched her friend pelt up the stairs. Lily was the best liar in this here school and maybe even the planet; she would never miss a beat to practice her lies which she called acting.

Looking at Remus sympathetically she left, quickly following Lily's footsteps.

* * *

"Would you stop! Your doing my head in!"

"Well, if you weren't being such an impetuous bloke, I wouldn't have to lecture you." she said impatiently.

"Beila, I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Except totally humiliate Remus in the middle of a crowded hallway and make a total fool of yourself. What's so wrong with Remus anyway? He totally wants you and you totally want him, odd though you aren't together."

"It's not that simple and I don't like him that way."

"My ass! I don't understand you Lily Evans. You've got a perfect guy at your feet and you won't even give him a chance. You know how many people would die to be in your shoes right now?"

"Well since your yelling at me, I can't think of one single person, because just listening to you right now makes me want to kill myself."

"That was cold."

"Well just leave me the bloody hell alone! I have more important things to deal with right now than a stupid party! But of course you wouldn't know that something was wrong."

"Of course not, you never open up and when I ask, you push me away even more! I don't know how to get anything out of you anymore, you used to tell me some things, now I get nothing. Honestly Lily, your so scared of showing people the real you, that you put up a tough girl act and call people names and beat up guys. You have damned problems, just talk about them. Sure life isn't easy, it's like that for everyone, so stop acting as if you're the only one with problems and grow up."

"Anne's paralysed, waist down."

"Because you know then...what? Oh my Lord, Lily, I'm so sorry. At least...she's still alive, right. You haven't lost her."

"I'd rather she'd be dead than to have to see her suffer as a cripple for the rest of her life."

"Oh Lily, you don't mean that."

"I don't know, maybe I do. The last thing I told her before leaving for Hogwarts was: I hope you get hit by a car you evil troll and then she did. It's all my fault..."

"Oh Lily, hunny, it isn't your fault at all, how where you to know that faith would act in such a cruel way? You can't blame yourself."

"But I do, and I'll never be able to stop thinking that way, even thought the small rational part that's left of my brain tells me it isn't my fault."

"Don't worry Lily, we'll get through this together."

"I'm so happy to have a friend like you Beila, I don't know what I'd do without you."

* * *

A/N: I know bad ending, butit's finally here! The latest chapter to R.S.Q, let me hear you cheer with joy lol, I know I am! I personally would like to give many thanks and sorrys to Erin, thanks a lot for pushing me. Life's been very hectic lately. I've been drowning in homework, plus I've had to stay at school till seven every night for two weeks, it's actually going to be finished this Thursday yah! So, all that, as well as a tiny writer's block and more than a many personal problems have kept me from writing. I actually wrote 5 different draft for this chapter, that's how much I love you all. I took a whole day from my 3 day weekend to write this. Now I know it's a crappy ending but I promise the next chapter is well underway. I've already got half of it written down and it should be posted sometime next week (because I have no internet at my house, I work and I don't have computer class anymore).

About this chapter: Well, Lily's thoughts are a little muddled up and she doesn't want a relationship with Remus because of the bad ending with James, which is basically what she fears will happen. The rest is pretty self-explanatory.

Thanks:

erin kite(Or erin): Thanks for the great "getting out of writer's block" ideas! So sorry for the long wait and the suspense and thanks for the little pushes and the e-mails you wrote me. They were my inspiration, knowing someone out there liked R.S.Q so much as to take the time to write me e-mails for the next chapter. Sniff, sniff! Lol! Well, anyway I hope you like this chapter, it's dedicated to you! Enjoy!

**Seren Lunar Echo:** wow, hooked? I feel so special! Well, I'm glade you liked the chapter, hope you like this one!

**QuieroTuAmor**: Hey, I hope you like this one, oh and don't forget, chapter 13 was completly re-done, so if oyu haven't read it, you'll be totally confused. Cheers!

**Kel:** Glade you liked the new chapter better, I personally did lol! Yah, I liked it too how it gave more information on them, cuz I'm trying to be sketchy so that it may slowly devolge it's self.

**ourlittlesecret7:** Hey, I updated and no your not a retard, one of the smartest actually, your pretty much the only one who caught on. Hope you liked this chapter and more on Derrick to come.

**UPDATE:** I updated lol!

**OceanGoddess:** Well, I don't want to say too much, but I will say they end up together. Hope you liked this chapter!

Well I would write more but I can't because I'm uploading this chapter at school and my teacher is looking at me evilly. Epp!

And that ladies and hopefully gentleman is the end of this chapter.

Adios!

Josie

P.S: I'm extremely sorry for my absurd latenessBut hopefully I made it up with this huge chapter! Kudos.


	15. Unexpected turn in events

At last! First and foremost, a humungous-ly huge "I'M SORRY!" for taking so long to update. I have been so busy with school, family and God only knows. I've been neglecting Fanfiction for a while now, but not to worry mates, because lovable lil ol' me is back baby! Fresh from vacation and ready for an other roll. I would like to give big thanks to: erin, for being so very patient with me, and who actually made me realise how neglecting I've been and who urged me not to give up on this; hope you enjoy this chapter! And an other one to come extra soon just to express how sorry I am to have kept you all waiting. Now I'm sure you're all dying for the next chapter, so here it is! -Josie

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

By Josie G. Evans

Summary: If you think this is a love story, so it is, but it is about so much more, a tortured soul in need of love and friends, of closed eyes and laughs. This is the life of Lily Gabrielle Evans, the girl afraid to grow up, afraid of living, but what is living when your not on the edge once in a while?

* * *

(Love)_ A grave mental disease._ **-Plato**

_There's a songbird who sings, Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven._ (Stairway to Heaven) by my personal fav. Led Zeppelin.

* * *

NOTE: OMG, I fell so stupid, I kept the same quote for the last two chapters. So I added an extra one to make up for it lol!

PART ONE

_The beginning_

**Ch. 14:** Unexpected turn of events

"But the fact remains, I'm not going tomorrow."

"What? Lily stop doing this! Your going and that's final. Anne's not dead, she'll be fine, and she'd want you to have fun."

"Don't you dare talk about her like that!" she said getting up in her rage.

"Lily I didn't mean anything..."

"No, ok just drop it. I'm old enough to make my own decisions and I decided that I'm not going." she said cutting her off.

* * *

"I can't believe you made me come. I'm so gonna kill you while you're sleeping tonight. If you just happen to find a butcher's knife in your back in the morning, don't be surprised."

"Consider myself warned." Arabella said as she scanned the crowded room for her date.

The great hall had been converted into a dance floor. In the corners, small round tables with chairs, were placed alongside of either wall, where small groups of people were sitting, talking, snogging, drinking or eating, some all at once.

"I can't believe Dumbledore let the Marauders have a bash in the great hall."

"I know, and it looks like everyone's here, with the exception of the Slytherins of course." replied Arabella.

Lily had to admit it to herself though, considering the Marauders had probably waited until the very last minute to decorate the great hall, they had done a fairly good job at it. A couple of Gryffindor banners decorated the great hall.

The only light source came from soft candle light which was meant to give off a romantic allure. They had also, beyond anyone's comprehension, got _The Super Queens_ to preform, who were all the rage in the wizarding world. They were also known for their large variety of slow romantic songs and for doing covers of world known muggle songs.

"Someone's trying to get laid." commentated Lily whilst looking at the cheesy romantic decorations and facade. "Didn't know the Marauders were so desperate."

"Probably their biggest secret." Arabella said, laughing at the ridiculous horror expression Lily had pasted to her face to prove her point. "Or maybe they're just big saps."

"Highly doubt it." she replied, looking around for any sign of Remus. She couldn't believe how she had actually blew him off in a very desperate attempt to keep things as they had always been. A memory of Anne and her playing in the backyard flashed through her mind. It's not that Lily didn't love her other sister Petunia, it's just that she had never liked Lily. She had always been jealous of Lily's talents and red hair.

Lily had to constantly remind herself that things couldn't always stay the same. People grew and changed and learned from experience and there was nothing she could do to freeze it. Besides, if nothing new never happened, she's probably die of boredom.

"Sirius!" yelled Bella, waving him over. "Hey," she said almost breathlessly as he got within earshot.

"Hey Bella, babe, you look great, as usual." he said putting his arm possessively around her.

"Sirius, you old charmer, shurrrd-uppp!"

"Oh, hey Lily. How are you doing?" he asked a little more icily than Lily liked. True, she did deserve it after the way she treated Remus, but did he have to give her ice? She was only trying to keep one of her oldest most appreciated friendships intact. She seemed to have failed royally, seeing that Remus was nowhere in sight. She had lost a best friend while trying to protect it. How unfair was that? There's no justice in this world!

"Good," she answered sheepishly, actually looking at her feet as she responded. "And you?"

"Shouldn't you be asking how Remus is doing?" he asked with an even icier tone.

"Now, Sirius don't start with me!" Lily suddenly burst out. "I feel bad enough as it is! If I knew where Remus was I'd talk to him and explain!"

"Well here's your big chance he's heading this way. You didn't actually think he'd stay up in his room crying like a little girl because you brought him crashing down? Because no one can be that full of themselves." he said in a mock tone suggesting he knew that was exactly what Lily was thinking, which sadly, it was.

"Hey guys, Lily." Remus said with a nod in her direction. "We have a table over there, you're welcome to join if you want Lily."

"Oh, uh actually, I'm quite fatigued, I think I might just head back to my dorm..." she trailed off as Remus looked at her with a piercing blank stare. She felt herself blush and had to suppress the urge to run out, as her face no doubt resembled a tomato.

"Nah, Lily, common, plenty of time for sleep later, right now lets PAR-TAY!" Arabella said naively taking Sirius by the hand and dragging him away to the dance floor.

"She sure is different when she's at a party." commentated Lily, to try and rid the awkwardness between them. Remus nodded in response.

They were left awkwardly standing in the middle of a dancing crowd, being pushing into one an other by the mad swarm of dancing students.

A large bump sent them sprawling onto the ground in a heap with Lily on the bottom.

"Remus!" she managed to yell. "You're crushing me to...ouff!" she added as someone else joined the pile. Lily was being crushed beneath two heavy bodies, her ribs grinding painfully. Black spots started to obscure her vision as barely any form of oxygen flowed into her lungs.

The humungous weight suddenly disappeared and she felt someone grab her arm as they pulled her off the ground.

"...you ok? Lils?" it was Erin, thoughtful Erin, always there. "Sorry man, I didn't know you were under Remus, I thought he was just messing around."

"Bloody arsehole!" she managed to gasp out at Erin as she realised what the extra weight had been. "What have you been eating? Dieting on elephants now are we?" she jokingly asked.

"Uh, I guess she's fine." Erin smiled slyly to Remus. "Here mate, she's all yours." Erin added dumping Lily into Remus's arms which resulted in the two bumping heads. "Thanks Erin, give me a headache to top it all off why don't you!" she yelled at his retreating back. Was it just her imagination or was Erin at the top of an uber secret operation which seemed focussed on getting she and Remus together? He seemed to materialize out of nowhere at the most inconvenient times, making sure she was left alone with Remus in bothersome positions, disappearing just as fast as he had appeared.

"Well, certainly been an interesting day..." Lily muttered, trying with all her might to compose herself as she caught a whiff of Remus's cologne. He seemed to have bathed in the strong cologne Sirius wore when he wanted to make a good impression.

Lily coughed. Then without any warning she bust out laughing. Remus looked at her with a face that clearly said: 'have you gone mad?'

She laughed so hard so had to grab hold of Remus' shirt to prevent falling over. "What?" he asked.

"It's just..." she trailed whipping tears from the corner of her eyes, "that you smell like Sirius when he's trying to get lucky."

Remus started blushing madly, gibbering incoherently.

"What was that?" she asked, clearly interested in knowing.

"Never mind."

"No, no, you can't do that. You have to tell me. Besides, you know I'll just keep bothering you till you tell me."

"I said, Sirius attacked me with it before we left. I donno what's so funny, it smells quite good." he said, straightening to full height.

"Oh, ya it does... if you like smelling like a baby prostitute who was attacked by a raving mad skunk. Other than that, it's simply marrr-vellous dah-ling!"

"You're right, it does smell awful. I tried to run back in to take a shower but the guys had sealed the door."

'You could take a shower in my dorm, I wouldn't mind watching,' she thought. Oh my God! No, bad Lily, bad, bad, really bad! 'So bad I need a span...' NO!

As if Remus knew what she was thinking, he shot her a devilish smile and suggested they move to a more secluded spot.

Maybe it was the dangerous combination of romantic atmosphere and Remus's horrid cologne which had thus wrecked her thinking abilities, but she found herself accepting.

* * *

"Listen Rem, I'm really sorry about yesterday."

"No you're not." he answered.

They were seated on a small wooden bench, like the ones you see in movies, where old people sit, watching the sunset go down.

"Are you calling me a liar?" she asked furiously. Here she was apologizing and he was actually accusing her of lying. About her feelings no less. "Because it takes one to spot one." she spat back.

"Lily dammit! I'm the one who's enraged here! Stop turning yourself into the victim! You're constantly doing this. It's bloody infuriating!" he all but yelled, as he got up in his anger and turned his back to her.

"You bloody wanker! How dare you? Who do you think you are to speak like this to me? All I did was say no to a bloody dance to save our friendship and all of a sudden I'm the bad guy!"

Spinning around, he grabbed her by the shoulders with brute force and yelled, his faces inches from hers."Lily, you bloody idiot! When will you realise I could never just be bloody friends with you!"

She swallowed hard, actually feeling scared and for the first time in her life, feeling endangered near Remus. She had never seen Remus this mad and didn't know what he was capable of. When a person like Remus is that quiet, you never know what's going on in their heads, and it scared her. She realised for the first time she didn't know Remus as well as she thought.

After a couple of minutes of seething, he seemed to realise he was hurting Lily, as his hands dug deep into her flesh and she squirmed madly like an earthworm in agony. That's when he realised she was telling him something.

"...Remus, you wankered git! Let go, you're fucking hurting me! Don't let me use force!"

Slowly he let go, his eyes widening at what he had been doing. Lily's back was pressed hard against the brick wall, her eyes filled with fear, her lips slightly parted in a silent O. She looked so innocent, so small, he felt the strong urge to protect her all of a sudden. He enveloped her in a large bear hug, his breathing shallow, as they slipped to the floor in a small heap, his whole body forming a protective barrier, defending her from an invisible force.

Lily remained quiet, hugging Remus closer to her as he trembled. Remus had been fighting so hard all these years to not blow up like he had just done. It was even harder than he would have imagined as his werewolf instinct kept resurfacing. He hadn't lost control like this since 2nd grade when Sirius, James and Peter had confronted him about his lycanthropy.

A couple of years back, when he was of a more naive young age, he had been so white hot with anger, that he had killed a cat. The worst part was that he couldn't seem to remember any of it. As far as he was concerned he had been playing chess with Pollux only moments before. His brain had completely erased the nasty deed he had done. Things like this happened quiet a few times when he inexplicitly got angered beyond words, so that after a while his mother got worried and sent him to a specialist to control his anger.

Remus was diagnosed as bipolar, something he had been trying to hide as hard as his lycanthropy. Problem was, the doctors hadn't given him the proper diagnosis. It was actually a problem brought on by a clog of magic that couldn't circulate in his brain, which triggered his anger and whipped his memory of indecent endeavours. The clog had started materializing at an unhappy stage of his life. About the same time his father disappeared.

"Lils, oh Lils, I'm so sorry, are you alright?" he asked, trying hard to think of how they had found themselves on the opposite end of the room, Remus knocking her on the brick wall with his body weight. Try as he might, it wouldn't resurface. "Oh Lils, wh-what happened?" he asked choking back tears.

"What do you mean?" she asked clearly frightened. "Remus?"

"I-I don't...remember. All I can recollect is us sitting on the bench talking and then..."

"Remus, please...you're scaring me." she answered, trying to get up, but Remus kept holding on tight. "Let go. Please let me up."

"No! Lily, I want to know what happened!" he implored.

She turned her face sideways, avoiding his searching gaze, swallowing the growing lump in her throat. "I have to go. Loads of last minute homework to turn in tomorrow and I'm not done."

She added, finally freeing herself from his ironclad grasp.

"Lily! Lily...please." he said to her retreating back.

* * *

Derrick sat at one of the round tables, looking out onto the dance floor. Sirius had beaten him to the game as usual. He hated his living guts. Why was it, that whenever he seemed to grab the courage to bring his and Arabella's friendship closer, Sirius seemed to suddenly appear in the picture and whisk her away on wobbly knees.

He wasn't ugly looking, and a whole lot nicer than Sirius who just kept braking Arabella's heart for some bimbo. Yet, Arabella accepted him with open arms every time he came back. Which was probably the reason he kept coming back. He knew that no matter what, he'd always have Arabella as a second choice and she'd always be there on the sidelines waiting for him.

She'd most likely grow up and live the rest of her life with a broken heart, waiting for him, just living for the day he'd come knocking on her front door, proclaiming his undying love for her and they'd settle down and live happily ever after for the next couple of years until she/he died or he left her once more. She turn out to be a lonely, bitter old cat lady and he would settle for second best, knowing he could never have Arabella. He'd like but not love.

An old quote from Ovid rang through his head, _Love is a kind of warfare, _as he drained his cup and watched Bella's beautiful figure swim across the dance floor.

He went over to the drink table, filling up his fifth butterbeer, agonizing screems echoing at the back of his head. When would she leave him alone? Why couldn't he just live three seconds without seeing her tear streamed face or hear her sobbing and pleading as he did his irreversible deed. He could magically wipe the memory from her head, but couldn't seem to do the same to himself.

He heard something shatter, the faint familiar metallic smell reached his nostrils as he slumped to the floor, his wet hand holding on to the healed scar on his stomach.

"Someone partied a little too hard..."

* * *

James watched Clarice dancing with every available guy, shamming his family's name in front half the school. Of course not many knew of their betrothal. They were to marry soon after graduation, but the school was under the impression that they had an on/off again relationship.

James shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He knew of their marriage since the tender age of five, the knowledge of it withering uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach like a snake.

Clarice was beautiful and constantly horny (what more could a teenage boy ask for?) but there was just no spark, no attraction besides occasional lust. It wasn't enough for him. He wanted more. He wanted what his parents had. That tender loving look they gave each other whenever they believed no one else was looking. The simplicity of their love. Something straight out of an old muggle movie.

He made himself out to be more than he really was. He wasn't just some arrogant prat as Evans liked to point out. He just acted that way because it seemed to earn him the respect of his peers. Only his friends seemed to know the real him. Why couldn't he just act that way in public?

"Clarice, would you stop? You're embarrassing me!" he murmured as she walked over to his table, hips swaying and flushed from dancing.

"Don't be such a spoil sport." she said, laying her hand on his thigh, "Besides, you don't even like dancing. If you'd dance with me, I wouldn't have to go to such extreme lengths to have a partner." she said, inwardly thinking that her plan to make him jealous had succeeded.

"Urgh! Fine, common, it's a bloody slow song. I rather dance than to watch you grinding some pervert who can't keep his hands to himself." he said, leading her onto the dance floor, holding onto her hand possessively, making it clear that Clarice wouldn't be dancing with anyone else tonight.

Clarice smiled. It took a while, but she had finally got James so worked up and jealous, he couldn't help but dance with her. Then again, she did always seem to get what she wanted in the end. That's the way she liked it.

The crash of a fallen glass sounded at the end of the dance floor. Clarice brought James closer to her, softly grabbing one of his perfectly sculpted round buttocks. Nothing would ruin what was left of her night, not even some drunken fool.

* * *

A/N: Ah, poor Remus, every time something seems to go right between he and Lily, something twice as horrible occurs. Rotten luck. Long chapter to make up for my lack of updating. I know you all want to kill me right now, but you might find your anger (or happiness) better placed in a review!

An other chapter coming soon. Sometime late next week hopefully.

Laters

Josie!


	16. Letter from the author

**Raspberry Sugar Quills**

**Josie E.**

Letter:

No, sorry guys this isn't a new chapter. I know I've been a little slow on the updates and all, but my grandmother is passing away and it's an extremely hard and emotional time for all of us. She has Alzheimer, a horrible cruel disease that renders the subject to lose not only her memory but strip them of everything. So, please, if you can, donate money at the Alzheimer's society so that we can make sure no one else has to suffer. Because without donations, scientist can't support their research; it is an extremely costly profession, which needs a lot of expensive equipment. I saw my great grandmother pass away in the same fashion, and since it's hereditary I wouldn't be able to watch my father slowly disappear either (I don't think I could go threw it all again) and I hope that together we can find a cure. I'm sorry for the huge damper but I can't bring myself to update for a while, I'll be extremely busy and to say the least very depressed and angry for the next couple of days. So keep looking for updates, but I can't guarantee anything until the end of the week or next week at the latest. Sorry any inconvenience this may have caused and I hope you'll keep with the story anyway. In the mean time I suggest reading some of my other stories, which include: Stuck in my Crawl, which has been recently updated. Thank you, once again for your time and support.

Love always,

Josie G. Evans


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